Posted by pinkeye on June 15, 2005, at 21:05:13
In reply to Re: 3 rd anniversary .. don't know what to feel !! » pinkeye, posted by Tamar on June 15, 2005, at 19:46:14
> Anniversaries can have so much power, can't they?
Thanks Tamar. Actually I didn't really keep thinking about this. I was surprised I even remembered. It just came to my mind.
>>
> So he never replied to your email. I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe it was a long shot, and maybe it even helped a little bit to write to him, even if he didn't reply. However, I'm sure he hasn't forgotten you. You're unforgettable!No - it didn't help to write to him. It actually made it worse and I regret that I ever wrote again and tried telling him about all this csa. I am sure he didn't understand and he thought I am trying to come up with something to get his attention. I shouldn't have tried writing after he terminated. I should have just left it, since it was clear he was not happy with me when he terminated. I think I stretched it a little too far and kept depending on him for a long time and he wasn't prepared to deal with it. Now I realize it. I realize more and more now that all along he thought of me as a nuisance - only I was dumb enough to not realize it and perpaps my transference had a role to play and I was in a child's state of mind half the time.
> Good numb, as in starting to heal? Or bad numb, as in "can't bear to think about it"? I hope it's the good numb.I don't know.. Don't know if it is good or bad.
>
> Thinking of you.
>
> (((((pinkeye)))))
>
> Tamar
>
>
poster:pinkeye
thread:513288
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050615/msgs/513393.html