Posted by Tamar on June 21, 2005, at 7:55:22
In reply to Very long, sorry. » annierose, posted by Dinah on June 20, 2005, at 22:30:43
Hey Dinah! I was sneaking into Babble during a break from work just to read a few posts without replying until later, but when I read yours I just had to reply!
> However, it helped me feel connected in a different sort of way than I'd felt connected before, and I actually asked if it would be ok to ask for a hug at the end of the session.
Wow! I can hardly believe it! This sounds really good to me. Did you feel it was a good thing too?
> He asked me what I thought. I told him I thought he'd say we'd need to talk about it. He laughed and said that if I felt comfortable asking after all this time, he thought it would be ok, if it would be ok with me. Then corrected himself and said it must be ok with me since I had asked.
Tee hee. Yes, after ten years he should know you well enough to feel comfortable if you feel comfortable!
> So I got my first (and probably last) hug. I had forgotten by the time he had finished writing my receipt and hugged me, so I ended up smushing my nose against his chest, which was embarassing.
Ah yes: the nose-smushing hug. Commonly employed among people who aren't used to hugging each other and haven't figured out how their bodies will fit together!
> And it didn't really feel as good as being emotionally held. So I don't know that I'll ask for a repeat. A handshake works just as well as tangible evidence that he is real, when I need that.
Maybe the answer is to do the hugging when you actually feel inclined to ask, rather than wait till the end, by which time the feeling may have changed and you may have forgotten?
And yeah, being emotionally held is quite different from physical touch, isn't it?
So, ultimately, were you reassured that he does indeed like and respect you? I can't imagine anyone not respecting you; if that ever happened it would definitely be the other person's problem.
Tamar
poster:Tamar
thread:515914
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050615/msgs/516501.html