Posted by Dinah on December 13, 2005, at 7:52:08
In reply to Re: I used Babble a whole lot » Dinah, posted by daisym on December 13, 2005, at 0:13:19
I think he wasn't going to tell me I was special. He was relaxed and not guarded and I think he was going to slip up and say something hurtful. Something that didn't necessarily need to be said, but that I probably need to hear. Not about me in particular.
I shouldn't have run away. I should have known what would happen, given what's going on. My rational self is not at all happy that I've decided to try to re-establish the relationship that was weakened by the six weeks without seeing him. My rational self thought I should have used that time to break free, with or without another therapist, it didn't matter. And my rational self is *really* p.o.'d that I would consider my therapist when making the family decision of whether or not to move. And even more about the plans my emotional self is making to try to stop that move. When my rational self doesn't even think my therapist can be relied on to be there. There's a whole lot of anger that came out both directly and in the point of view of the "facts" I was relaying.
My rational self might have been honest, but my rational self's truth doesn't necessarily reflect my emotional self's truth at all. Far from it. And I'm afraid that although he knows intellectually that that is true, he might not know that in his gut. I'm far more eloquent in rational mode. :(
poster:Dinah
thread:588515
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051210/msgs/588602.html