Posted by Daisym on February 24, 2006, at 0:34:40
In reply to Re: moving more deeply into ego state therapy... » Daisym, posted by Pfinstegg on February 23, 2006, at 22:53:12
Thank you for sharing that. I know how hard it must have been to type "retailiated" and how hurtful it is to feel and hear those comments. I think we are so protective of our therapists that it is hard to admit that they have these countertransference issues. At least for me it is. And while I totally understand that mine is human, it is beyond crushing when he responds to the longings by pushing back, or gives into the pleading for rescue by being directive or confrontational. It has only happened a few times, and each time he has not only owned it but shared how upset he was to recognize it in himself. He told me that he worried at one point he had "blown my trust" and I would leave therapy, while simultaneously knowing our relationship was strong enough to withstand the storm. And he is honest about how I hurt him too.
But boy, the younger parts go nuts when this happens. The 4 year old is terrified and wants to cling to his leg. The nine year old part simply mad, saying "I knew it! I knew we were too much for him." The 12 year old was really upset to have hurt him, she tries so hard to be perfect. So I pull back, he reaches out and we talk and talk and talk about it.
I gave him a bookmark a few weeks ago that had the word Faith on it in Chinese characters. Because sometimes that is all we have. He has faith in the process and I have faith in him.
poster:Daisym
thread:612620
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060211/msgs/612708.html