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Re: I'm so sad » canadagirl

Posted by Dinah on April 30, 2006, at 7:11:34

In reply to Re: I'm so sad » Dinah, posted by canadagirl on April 30, 2006, at 6:36:18

Thank you. That's very true, but it's hard to hold onto.

I sat by Daddy's bed when he was dying. I held Harry and he stopped crying. But this is different somehow. I feel abandoned, even though I'm technically the one abandoning. There's no resolution. It's been twentyfive years since Bunty died and I still haven't come to terms with it. It's more like that.

I'm not so good at tolerating pain. I'm drowning it in Risperdal right now. I guess if I do it long enough I'll just forget. I'm good at forgetting.

But right now it feels like all it doesn't hurt to do is exhale.

 

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