Posted by Dinah on October 3, 2006, at 16:17:34
In reply to My T has breast cancer, posted by mair on September 29, 2006, at 17:20:04
Well, FWIW, my therapist and I talked about this today. He said (with an obvious eye to the fact that it could come up between us) that if she invited discussion of the topic, that she was prepared for what the discussion may entail. And that if it were him, he'd want me to be honest about my feelings.
After some wrangling, he said that it wouldn't be uncaring or improper to admit that it's difficult to discuss the situation, that ordinarily you'd discuss your less positive feelings about a loved one having cancer with your therapist, but that in this case it's hard to do that, and that you care about her as a person and are concerned about her wellbeing, but that you're also afraid of losing her, or that she won't be available as a therapist during treatment. He said that your fears won't burden her, because they're different from her own fears.
I'm not quite sure what he meant by that last part.
He also said that if it happened to him, he'd want me to talk about it lots here on Babble. I told him that our reaction was sort of horrified and fearful, and I wasn't sure that was as positive as might be called for. He said that was because we understood, really understood, in a way another therapist might not understand. I'm trying to figure out what I think about that.
He also sends his best wishes to you and your therapist.
So, if that helps, that's what another therapist thinks about what's appropriate.
Although I told him that my reaction wouldn't be to throw myself around his ankles and ask if he would still be able to be my therapist, it would be to throw myself around his ankles and insist that he *had* to still be able to be my therapist. And that even though I care about him, I'd exhibit a lot of fear about me. And he said that's the reaction he'd expect from a long time therapy client, and it wouldn't bother him at all. Still...
poster:Dinah
thread:690264
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060926/msgs/691554.html