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Re: canceled my T apt...why do i do this to myself? » youngaddict

Posted by happykat on January 26, 2007, at 15:09:55

In reply to Re: canceled my T apt...why do i do this to myself?, posted by youngaddict on January 26, 2007, at 13:52:01

Hi y.a.,

>>>how did you first mention this to her?<<<

I wrote a page about a session during which she had thoroughly pissed me off. I labeled it therapy notes and recapped the session. I wrote what we talked about and how it made me angry and how I felt she didn't understand where I was coming from. I wrote about my feelings of transference and how it felt from my point of view. She was really surprised and actually quite happy that I gave it to her. I think she considers it a breakthrough.

Now I give her 2 pages a week. Sometimes 1 page with bullet points if I'm in a hurry. 1 page is recapping our last session, what we talked about, how I felt, etc.. Page 2 is what I want to talk about this week and whats gone on during the week.

It's definitely strengthened our therapeutic relationship. It's also making it easier to talk about things openly which is a first for me. It's slow going but I'm getting there.


>>>Last night I was on a plane and I wrote ten pages about how awful my life is and contemplating suicide and plannning my funeral.. it was awful, i was bawling on the plane. and right then i though, i shouid mail this to her, i don't think she knows exactly how awful and depressed i really feel....<<<<

((((((youngaddict)))))))

I don't think she can commit you for that. Just make sure you emphasize that you aren't going to act on it!!

I would definitely consider letting her read what you wrote. I find that I just can't/won't talk about some things. And those are usually the most important things. The things I need her to hear most.

Good luck with next wk's appt. Let me know how it goes.

Be well. Stay safe.

Regards,
happykat :)


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