Posted by Squiggles on August 13, 2007, at 9:44:33
In reply to Re: ***** Long, tedious and triggery ***** » Squiggles, posted by Tamar on August 13, 2007, at 9:20:53
OK Tamar, thank you for being patient with me and explaining these pesky questions. I really appreciate it, because I don't have a very open mind on this therapy thing, and it may be on account of misunderstandings about what is really going on between therapist and patient.
> > I'm not sure about T-vocabulary; what are the
> > boundaries and the framework for example?
>
> I’ve had no psychological training, but here’s how I understand it:
>
> Boundaries are concerned with issues of contact between therapist and client: how much a therapist tells the client about himself/herself, whether there will be hugging, whether the client may call the therapist at the office, or outside of office hours, whether the therapist will accept gifts from the client, and things like that.
>That I understand. My doctor has very tight boundaries; even backed off on sensitive issues like how often do i have sex, and what people have hurt me in my life etc. It has if anything been voluntary information and as soon as he sees me wince, he stops questioning. I think that shows great respect for the individual and I am very fond of him for that. That's because he knows that i am a rational being and will not change just by being told you should have more sex, for example. That's a personal thing and decision depending on life circumstances.
> The frame is about the environment in which therapy takes place: how long the sessions last, where they happen, when they happen, and how often. I think the boundaries are part of the environment and so can be considered part of the frame.OK- that sounds like the plan in which the therapy will take place-- money, time, structure, intensity, etc.
>
> > Also,
> > if you would be happy having a loving relationship, is the therapist the best person to have that with? Maybe, a bodyfriend, or a husband?
>
> I have lots of loving relationships with partner, children, parents, friends… But I love my therapist too, because he cares (albeit professionally) for my emotional needs. It’s not the same as the care provided by a GP or a gynaecologist or whatever: it’s much more intimate because of the things I talk to him about.
>
> > I'm not sure what your needs are, but i have noticed a dependence relationship or bond forming with many patients here and their therapist. What happens, when he's gone; it's one of the reasons i think a dr. and social worker team would be less personally intrusive.
>
> Yes, many patients develop a bond with their therapist. Some become dependent. Do you see that as a bad thing?Answer:
Well, I might be afraid that if it is deep enough, and a foundation for personality support, that taking it away, may leave you without that support, maybe with separation anxiety.
--
I need to be able to bond with and depend on my therapist because I need to work in transference.A:
That sounds Freudian. I am not sure that if you transfer you actually attain catharsis or rid yourself of things bugging you for good. I just don't know how that works.--
The work I need to do is inevitably personally intrusive because it involves my gender, sexuality and body. A doctor and social worker team wouldn’t be able to help me much on those issues, unless they were psychoanalytically trained perhaps.A:
Well, i only mention them because much of emotional strife is partly medical and partly contextual in a social setting. Another advantage might be that as i said before, you would be able to leave the situation once your problem is resolved without having formed a dependence. But, how benefitial the personal interaction with a therapist is something that is up to you and i cannot say truthfully that it is better or worse than a less personal relationship like the one i have with my doctor. To me a less personal relation implies freedom. I would want a very personal relation if the therapist actually could solve a problem practically; to give you a hypothetical example-- if you are a victim of abuse the therapist calls in the cops and puts the abuser in jail or keeps him or her in therapy for the rest of his life, preferably in mental hospital. (i am exaggerating:-))
>
> What should happen (I believe) is that I should be able to work though all that stuff by bringing my transferential material to therapy, and working through that with the benefit of my therapist’s interpretations based partly on his clinical skill and experience and partly on his countertransference reactions. He would work with me to find ways of integrating the different parts of myself until I’m better able to live happily with who I am. And when I get to that point I will no longer feel so dependent on my therapist and I will be able to cope with leaving him.Would like to tell me more about transference? I can look it up but it would be interesting from someone who has been there.
>
>
> Well, I guess the benefits of therapy to me might be very different to the benefits to you because we wouldn’t be working on the same issues, and even if we had similar issues, we’d have different experiences of them. Each person has unique experiences of therapy, so it’s hard to generalize.
>
> Thanks for your thoughts about all this.
>Thanks for being so tolerant with my questions.
For each individual, whatever works for them is whta count at the end of the day.Squiggles
poster:Squiggles
thread:775888
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070807/msgs/775970.html