Posted by mair on February 8, 2008, at 8:29:29
In reply to Re: Need a Second Opinion (Big Trigger+ Long), posted by Daisym on February 8, 2008, at 0:42:19
You know Daisy, her explanation as to why she didn't think to tell me actually rang true to me although a friend of mine scoffed at it when I tried to explain it to her. My T's explanation was that she was so upset herself and was focused on her own hurt. She explained that when she's doing therapy, she very good at totally pushing aside personal thoughts and thus forgot all about it during our session. This is believable to me because I, too, put therapy in a different box when I'm not there. I compartmentalize therapy to such a degree that I'm sometimes incapable of remembering what we talked about from one session to the next. I think it hinders therapeutic progress, but it also allows me to function outside of my T's office.
I guess it hurt a little that she never drew a connection with me - not just when I saw her, but for the next couple of days afterwards. When I brought it up, the look on her face told me that in that instance, she immediately saw that this would be very upsetting to me.
Beyond that, I was sort of ok about her role in this until she started telling me what the reaction was of the other T's who are in the same supervisory group. Their opinions and her seeming acceptance of their point of view felt invalidating.
I have to say, I sometimes get very tired navigating discussions about the unique differences between a therapeutic relationship and an IRL one. I can't seem to process my feelings about those differences easily or competently. I start feeling like the relationship is too complicated for me (maybe not for others) and that I'd be better off (certainly no worse off?) if I didn't have to juggle it at all.
That's where I am right now.
thanks
mair
poster:mair
thread:811358
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080126/msgs/811489.html