Posted by Nadezda on June 9, 2008, at 10:30:48
In reply to extended my break again, posted by raisinb on June 9, 2008, at 9:42:01
Hi, raisinb.
Sometimes things don't become clear, because you aren't clear about what you want to do. Ambivalence can sometimes be a real internal conflict out of which no clear, releasing answer will just miraculously flow.
If you're stuck right now-- and can't feel good about going back-- you can't move on, either. And that could be a bad place to stay too long.
My intuition is that you need to go back and work this through-- even if it is to some ending. I wonder if you will end, though. Maybe you're not ready, even if she isn't the T you need.
But maybe-- I don't know-- there's something more to learn. If she is as uncaring as you think, you need to face it provisionally-- long enough to get through it and to work with someone else-- even if it's on the pain of that, at first.
To go forward, maybe you have to go back to her-- putting this off doesn't seem to move you forward, to an answer or to new things. If you're afraid you'll get stuck back with her-- still, you aren't ready to change, or I think you would have done so. Or you need to try to find a new T, and just let her go, but, without waiting to be released from whatever connection pulls you back.
These are just my thoughts, and I admit I don't understand your whole situation, but I do sense that avoidance might protect you from a painful reimmersion-- but it keeps you in limbo-- which isn't what you need.
Nadezda
poster:Nadezda
thread:833754
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080524/msgs/833764.html