Posted by raisinb on June 9, 2008, at 15:47:26
In reply to Re: extended my break again, posted by Dinah on June 9, 2008, at 10:55:52
No, I'm chronically indecisive, too. My pattern in relationships like this is to kick and scream and cause fights, until the other person dumps me. This has obviously not worked with her, so I have to take the responsibility for the decision, and it is hard. Neither option seems right. I don't feel right about leaving, and I do not feel right about going back.
My issues with her *are* issues from my past. However, she often makes them worse instead of helping me work through them. Her responses to me frequently trigger me, rather than providing a stable, safe place to explore how I feel.
Lately, I often feel that this struggle is really a struggle with myself--that she's just some kind of conduit I'm trying to use. I don't know if that makes sense. But I wonder if I should confront the fact that getting her to care enough is not going to do it, and maybe I should just skip the middleman. Or is that just more of my avoidance and counterdependent behavior?
poster:raisinb
thread:833754
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080524/msgs/833825.html