Posted by antigua3 on April 4, 2009, at 20:12:01
In reply to Re: Is Healing Really Possible? csa trigger**, posted by Dinah on April 3, 2009, at 20:09:39
Thanks for all the responses. I'm happy to hear that most who replied believed that healing is really possible, and TherapyGirl, you're going through a rough patch so I'm not sure I believe you. :)
I guess I'm wondering if it's biologically or neurologically possible to heal from this. Do children who don't attach early on ever recover? Some would say they don't, no matter the love they receive. What is it that we receive in the first five years of life that is essential and irreplacable? Especially if it has been taken away from us, or damaged, or ruined.
Maybe I'm just looking for a biological excuse to blame this all on, thinking I will never get better, that in fact it is not possible.
Yesterday, I was in the library all day, reading the Encylopedia of Psychiatry. I learned more than I should have, especially about the pathological distortions associated with negative transference, my favorite subject of the moment. I've behaved badly toward my pdoc, and I know it, and can see it so clearly now. (Not that he's perfect or the right one for me--I don't think he is--but I have behaved atrociously, all in an attempt to resolve my male issues.)
Anyway, I was sitting at a table surrounding by four chairs. I was alone for most of my concentrated six hours w/this book, and twice the same man came to sit across from me at two different times. I recognized him; I'm not sure from where, but he has a badly burned face, which didn't bother me at all. I felt comfortable with him sitting w/me. It was kind of comforting, actually, and it occurred to me why. His scars are on the outside for everyone to see, while mine are the same, just inside, hiding where no one can see. The guy is an inspiration because he just goes about living his life. Maybe he's not; maybe he just hangs out at the library like I do! In any case, I was struck by the similarities, while I think he probably has a much tougher situation to deal with. Mine is a damned secret. I'm sick of the secret.
antigua
poster:antigua3
thread:888235
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090328/msgs/888715.html