Posted by emilyp on July 19, 2009, at 11:37:26
In reply to when your T becomes more than a T, posted by friesandcoke on July 19, 2009, at 10:40:23
I understand the pain you feel losing your therapist. It is a very hard relationship to replace, especially if you have been seeing someone for so long. And it does sound like the replacement was not ideal. But the second therapist- the one you handpicked may just not have had the history and background with you when she made the comments about your mother. Think about the amount of time that it took for your original therapist to really understand you, your family, your history and your issues.
I understand the role that your original therapist played in your life. I started in therapy about 13 years ago. Originally, I had a therapist and a psychiatrist. I only saw the psychiatrist every 4 to 8 weeks for medication; I was much closer to the therapist. Then after several years, one day the therapist wound up in the emergency ward and I never saw her again. It was not even a retirement but an abrupt and unplanned termination.
I started seeing my psychiatrist more often (as initially we did not know what was going to happen to the therapist). I never, in a million years, thought that I would have any meaningful relationship with him. It would never be like the relationship with therapist. He is very different from her. He did not see my life the same way the therapist did. And he has never been as available as she was. His lack of availability (he is a well-known psychiatrist in Illinois) was really hard to adjust to. It took me quite awhile for me to accept that even though he is not as available he still cares for me.
But despite the differences compared to my original therapist he brought something else to the table. He helped me see the world in ways that I had not seen before. He has since become both my psychiatrist and my therapist. I now have a very deep relationship with him. It is not exactly the same as what I had with her but in its own way, it is just as special.
I only tell you all this to remind you that relationships with anyone therapists or those on the outside usually take time. Furthermore, hopefully each relationship brings something unique and special to your life. You dont want every relationship to be completely the same.
Your second therapist may not be the perfect fit, but perhaps give it a try. Go into the relationship thinking she cannot replace your old therapist (anyway do you really want to replace that relationship and lose the specialness of what you had.) But instead, she can add something new and hopefully also special to your life.
poster:emilyp
thread:907475
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090706/msgs/907484.html