Posted by Dinah on October 20, 2009, at 8:26:35
In reply to feeling needy, posted by workinprogress on October 20, 2009, at 1:16:45
I think that what she was saying was about acceptance, not about judging you for your needs. And she was talking about your friends, not about your relationship with her.
How much you need someone is how much you need someone; it just is and it's not really good or bad.
Recognizing that there are times when those needs can be met and times when they won't be met is a separate matter. In therapy, your therapist has been clear on what needs she can meet. With your friends, it is something that depends on each individual relationship, each friend's boundaries and desire for closeness. It is only partially up to you, and the rest is totally beyond your power to change. Needing others more won't cause them to fill those needs. It hurts less to realistically test the boundaries, and to acknowledge the limits of each relationship. It's a matter of pragmatics.
Therapy is not friendship. And those same boundaries that smart so much when we run into them protect us in other ways.
poster:Dinah
thread:921634
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090907/msgs/921658.html