Posted by alexandra_k on June 23, 2013, at 16:47:49
In reply to Re: an ideal life... » alexandra_k, posted by Dinah on April 29, 2013, at 20:12:16
i think...
i'm too old and set in my ways to change now.
ahahaha.
i'm going to be 35 soon.
i... value my independence a great deal.
i like people okay, but hell is indeed other people at breakfast.
i think people should diffuse into environments rather than clumping.actually...
i do feel differently about some people.
but *some* people is right...
not many.
not many at all.since moving back to nz...
things have felt very different for me.partly it is about my not being so associated with graduates at a good uni.
it is hard for me to know just how much it is about this.
i think mostly. mostly it is that.
but that is everything.
i mean... basically everyone... basically everyone i associated with was a graduate or a former graduate.
other people...
are very different.
i... uh... don't have much of a desire to spend a great deal of time with them.
i just... don't.
too much like hard work.
may as well speak another language.
i guess i do speak another language, really.and partly... maybe partly it is cultural, too.
i just don't see...
how communal everything is conducive to literacy or higher learning.
i just don't see...
how group work everything is conducive to creativity or innovation.meh.
i think it really does come back to where one thinks the worst of the danger is.
in solitude or in the herd.i look after me better than most other people i know.
most other people who screw me over (mess up my plans) because they don't even credit me as having plans
i've learned the hard way (over and over and over) to not trust most others with my welfare.honestly...
that is why medicine is so important to me.because without your health.... one really has nothing.
and i don't trust another bastard to look after mine...
and along the way...
i expect i'll learn Quite A Few things which will be of use to others...
and most others won't give a rats *ss (i hear doctors get in trouble for stating the freaking obvious sometimes)...
and i expect there are trade-offs...
but it would be nice to help people who are genuine in looking for it.
and even those who aren't.
my dad smoked himself to death and, well,
i respect that.
i mean i quit because i chose life...
but it was a freaking close call.
and i chose death (but found it to be elusive) for a good 15 years or so...
so... really... who's to judge
(i actually condemn his not just coming out and saying he chose death more than i condemn his choosing death)i think i get choosing death.
at least one has some kind of control.
unlike putting oneself in the hands of other bastards.
most of whom are too stupid to f*ck*ng google the answer appropriately...
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1034263
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20130309/msgs/1045738.html