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Re: It's hopeless » saw

Posted by iris2 on September 14, 2004, at 14:06:16

In reply to It's hopeless, posted by saw on September 14, 2004, at 5:08:10

> I have a thought that is rolling around in my head like an out of control roller coaster. Is there any hope of recovery? I have so much to be grateful for. I have so many things that other people don’t have, and many blessings have come my way. Then the ugly memories surface of the trauma I had to suffer to have these blessings and the very core of me wants to scream IT’S NOT FAIR. Why did I have to suffer so much, I never did anyone else any harm!! Pathetic self-pity.

I feel the same way a lot of the time. It is okay to feel for yourself sometimes. Do not punish yourself for it by naming it "self-pity".
If you recognise you're feeling bad and that you have in the past and feel compassion for yourself that is not self-pity.

>
> I have everything going for me right now, yet still struggle to muster a smile. I struggle to feel really joyful in my heart. I just don’t get any enjoyment out of being me!
>
> I can’t work properly anymore; my concentration and focus betray me time and time again. I am so unproductive in a career where I have really applied myself in the past.

This is just past of the depression you are going through right now. I too cannot concentrate or focus. You made me feel better with this post as I think I a am stupid and when someone else recognises it for what it is I see it is the depression and I feel better about myself.

Just because you are having trouble feeling the joy now keep practicing. It might be easier the more you experience times to be joyfull about.

> Just over a month ago, I would cry and cry when I felt like this. I can’t even cry now. I just feel empty, dead.
> If I don’t like me, how must anybody else.

You have a good start just by reaching out here. You reached out to me and it meant a lot. Those who understand will care about you and when you feel a little better we will still be with you to help you care about yourself.

Irene :) with some effort


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poster:iris2 thread:390576
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