Posted by Deneb on October 1, 2005, at 23:32:11 [reposted on October 5, 2005, at 21:44:45 | original URL]
In reply to Re: Deneb, yoo-hoo. . .listen to me. . . » Deneb, posted by Sarah T. on October 1, 2005, at 23:00:11
> Hi there, Deneb,
>
> Phillipa is right. It's important to call your doctor for several reasons, one of which is that you might need an adjustment or "tweaking" of your medications. Although they are helping you, it's also possible that your current meds MIGHT be having unwanted side effects, such as apathy and fatigue.Hmmm...maybe you are right. When I did really well in the fall of 2004, I wasn't on any medication. I was much more anxious, but I found that it motivated me to study. Then I got *too* anxious the next semester because my social anxiety went through the roof, turning into paranoia at times.
I just experimented on reading posts on this suicide newsgroup and I don't feel the same obsession I usually have with death. That's good. So, right now I have less anxiety overall and don't think about killing myself or feel the urge to die, but I still have some very poor coping mechanisms.
I really don't want to die, I just get desperate when I don't study and procrastinate. I'm not worried most of the time about studying and do other things that are more enjoyable at the moment. Then suddenly comes the realization that I really need to study and then I get anxious.
You're right Sarah, I'll tell my p-doc about this procrastination thing, but I don't have to call him right away. I have an appointment on Weds.
I'm still running out of options, I think I will go to the urgent care clinic tomorrow morning and tell them I have thoughts of harming myself (which is the truth). I'm prepared to be locked up again, but I don't care, as long as this stress goes away. I just hope I will recover quickly enough to do some actual studying.
Deneb
P.S. Hammie just woke up not too long ago and his eyes are much much better. His left eye is completely open and clear now. His right eye is still a little closed, but it is a lot better than yesterday. I think he is OK. He is playing and eating as usual and doesn't seem to be in any pain.
poster:Deneb
thread:563480
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/studs/20050910/msgs/563484.html