Posted by AMD on July 17, 2006, at 14:15:06
In reply to Re: How old are you? » AMD, posted by pseudoname on July 17, 2006, at 13:27:30
pseudoname,
Wow, thank you for the encouraging words of support! They're helpful, even if reading them requires much more energy than I'd normally need.
I am definitely depressed. Whether this has as a result the racing-mind and blunted-cognition symptoms I'm currently experiencing is unclear. But whatever the cause, my mind feels like a fishbowl filled with acid, slowly being eaten away.
And frankly, I can't adequately put into words the distress this is causing me. I can't see how it will end ... this inability to focus, this need to cry, this desire to bang my head against the wall and scream, "Stop! Stop! STOP!" -- it's overwhelming.
And perhaps I am capable of putting words to "paper" in a semi-sensical form. It's the inability to combine these thoughts and form a /plan/ that has me greatly concerned. My inability to piece together disparate concepts and ideas into a logical piece of writing. It's the scatterbrain effect I'm freaking out about.
Argh! I am thinking about it and that worry is creeping up again. What did I do? Are my chemicals permanently out of wack?
I guess this raises a question: are these symptoms I'm worried about actually common side-effects of excess drinking? Should I mentally break the association between the former and the latter, and realize instead this is caused by depression and perhaps mania, not a permanent hangover symptom?
God help me get through this.
amd
e functions
> Hi, AMD.
>
> In the last few minutes I was looking for a report I read just a few days ago about how adult brains are a lot more plastic and can recover a lot better from all kinds of problems than they'd ever thought. So, it sounds like you're going through a really rough patch, but I really don't think you've fried your brain beyond recovery.
>
> Teenage brains are another story. Alcohol injures them much more than was ever previously thought. So the fact that you didn't start drinking until relatively late in life is a good sign, too. It also suggests that you're more likely to be successful in controlling your drinking than anyone who started earlier.
> http://www.hamiltonspectator.com/NASApp/cs/ContentServer?pagename=hamilton/Layout/Article_Type1&c=Article&cid=1151963411161&call_pageid=1020420665036&col=1112101662670
>
> To my ear, your post sounds a LOT more like depression — with some increased anxiety thrown in. It also sounds like you're deprived of good sleep, you're on a still-new med at a new high dose, and you're maybe still a little hung over. Nobody has optimum cognition under those conditions.
>
> You write very well and your typing is like perfect. I really don't think you have to worry about any brain damage.
>
> Good luck, AMD. I hope things calm down soon.
poster:AMD
thread:667757
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20060512/msgs/667779.html