Posted by Estella on May 7, 2006, at 5:10:10
In reply to sometimes life just doesn't work out, posted by Estella on May 6, 2006, at 23:55:24
And it just doesn't work out
I'd have probably been okay
If I had stayed over here
Over in this little corner of the world
But no
One has to venture to admin to get the name change
And then Larry's post
And then one just gets sucked right on in
And stuff to say
Stuff to be said
And a block is immanent
I can tell
I can feel it in the air
Hanging over my head
Waiting...
Waiting...
But it has been like this ever since...But it doesn't matter
'Cause the harm to me
The harm to others like me
Simply can't compare to all the possible people
Who live inside Bob's head
Or something...
To the good of the group
And when the individual
When the good of the individual
Conflicts with the good of the group
What is to be done?
And I understand the answer
And I understand why it has to be that way
Only I do not agree with the acts that are
Supposedly required for the good of the group
I do notAnd here is not the place for me
But then I knew that already.
And I tried to express...
How sometimes one does hurt...
I tried to express
But to be fair I was given no guarantee
Just the thought that it 'might' be okay to express that
But wrong.
It is not okay to express that
Maybe I'm the only person in the world who does that
I don't think so
Maybe I'm the only person in the world who admits to that
Maybe I'm the only person in the world stupid enough to try and talk about that on these boards
Maybe.But that is life.
Happens sometimes.
Clash of the issues or something
Like the people who go to psychology
And get a hard time because of their feelings for their t
Or because of what they have done with their t
Stuff like that
So they leaveAnd one could say the boards just aren't the place...
I don't see why you don't give a sh*t about those actual people
Given how you go on about hypothetical possible people who probably only exist in your head and all.
But here isn't the place.
And me.
I guess you tried.
Sort of.
But the damage was done
I hate special_k
With all my guts
Horrible horrible horrible
And I wish she was the one that diedBut here isn't the place
I guess it comes of people wanting babble to be everything to everyone
Sometimes ya just gotta figure whats most important to the boards
Numbers
I think you rate numbers rather highly
I mean you have got a few handles out of me
But can't compareNumbers
And people like me ain't conducive
At least... Not once traumatised
Re traumatisedSometimes the nature of the problem
Prevents progress being made
Clash of the issues
It is the f*cking blocking system
And it is that this place is too large
And it is that the culture is such that...Well
Certain things
Certain topics
Are off limits
One must keep the peace
One must be good
And so on and so forthAnd two more weeks of hell
Evenings and mornings mostly
But not sleeping ain't really working out for me either
The images
The feelingsI can't hardly express them
And when I do
Here is not the place.I'm sorry
Sorry I wasn't a better person
A more healthy person
I person who was better able to dissociate
A person who could have let the good ones play here
Kept the good ones playing here
And as for the rest
WellBetter off blocked I guess
But then we knew that already
Back to the room
Back to the room
Not fit for human company and co
Just not nice
Not likeableI'm sorry
I think I should go
And I think I really need to do my best...
Not to come back.
'Cause it hurts too much.
poster:Estella
thread:640827
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20060331/msgs/640880.html