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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by helenag on December 8, 2003, at 9:48:35
Please help. I just got out of the hospital for the 6th time since april, but I hope that this time my pdoc got closer to what is going on with me. I hope because it feels like i'm going round and round and round like a hamster on a wheel. There is a diagnosis of depression but lots of other stuff i do that is plain destructive--I go through periods of anxiety and agitation where I can crawl out of my skin. There has always been an emptiness inside me, always, where at my lowest times life makes no sense at all. my friends always tell i am looking for something that doesn't exist. in my past i have been pals with people who were "arty" the poet-types who were also "lost" and forlorn. i am an alcoholic because i used booze and other substances to take the edge off the agitation and sadness. I have a love-hate relationship with my pdoc; lucky for me he hasn't left me. many times I have asked him not to leave me.
the only time my life has been stable has been when my kids were little and i had a good purpose in my life. i was a mom and plenty to do.Anyway, i came out of this hospitalization with the pdoc coming to the conclusion that i had personality disorder traits-he told me to read the book, I hate you, don't leave me. He sent me to a emotion therapy group and back to my therapist. He didn't say I was borderline, but that book is about borderline patients. Am I to assume that I have borderline traits? I have cut my cut my wrists twice, in previous hospitalizations. The only time I have ever done anything like that at all. Am I overly concerned with labels?? Is there a continum of borderline? Where there are degrees of the disorder??
I sure hope to receive some responses. Thank you.
Posted by Karen_kay on December 8, 2003, at 10:43:15
In reply to Re: borderline traits, but not bd diagnosis???? , posted by helenag on December 8, 2003, at 9:48:35
Hey there! I was diagnosed borderline pd (YUCK!) by my therapist and yes there are different degrees in a way. This is how he explained it to me.... (Oh, and I read the book too!)
First of all according to DSM there are different criteria (and I don't remember how many one is supposed to have to be diagnosed). You can do a search on google to find the criteria. But, some of the symptoms are mood swings, splitting (or black and white thinking) outbursts of anger or difficulty controling anger, a pattern of unstable relationships, repeated suicide attempts and self mutiliation and a chronic feeling of boredom or emptiness.
The best way I can explain the continuum is to show how it relates to me. Hope it helps...
My biggest problem is with splitting, or black and white thinking. I think somehting is either all good or all bad. If I am mad at my therapist, I fail to see the good things he has done in the past. In short, I dislike him completely. On the upside, if I like him, I love him completely! He could do no wrong. It is this way with everyone I know.
I also SI. I haven't in quite a while (roughly 5 months! I used it as a coping mechanism. I couldn't express anger or frustration, so I would cut myself.
I tried to commit suicide twice.
I have mood swings, but I have Bipolar Disorder as well. Hard to tell which is the culprit....
So, even though I am diagnosed BPD, and I meet at least 5 of the criteria, I am not (for lack of a better word) high up on the scale or continuum. My biggest problem at this point is with splitting, which can be corrected with CBT, or so he says (HA!!).. BPD is hard to correct through therapy, but it can be done. Don't give up hope! I hope I helped you out a little bit. The best way I found to become more comfortable in this situation is to find out everything you can about BPD. The internet is a great source, as well as the Library.
Good luck! Karen
Posted by zenhussy on December 8, 2003, at 11:24:39
In reply to Re: borderline traits, but not bd diagnosis???? , posted by helenag on December 8, 2003, at 9:48:35
> Please help. I just got out of the hospital for the 6th time since april, but I hope that this time my pdoc got closer to what is going on with me. I hope because it feels like i'm going round and round and round like a hamster on a wheel. There is a diagnosis of depression but lots of other stuff i do that is plain destructive--I go through periods of anxiety and agitation where I can crawl out of my skin. There has always been an emptiness inside me, always, where at my lowest times life makes no sense at all. my friends always tell i am looking for something that doesn't exist. in my past i have been pals with people who were "arty" the poet-types who were also "lost" and forlorn. i am an alcoholic because i used booze and other substances to take the edge off the agitation and sadness. I have a love-hate relationship with my pdoc; lucky for me he hasn't left me. many times I have asked him not to leave me.
> the only time my life has been stable has been when my kids were little and i had a good purpose in my life. i was a mom and plenty to do.
> Anyway, i came out of this hospitalization with the pdoc coming to the conclusion that i had personality disorder traits-he told me to read the book, I hate you, don't leave me. He sent me to a emotion therapy group and back to my therapist. He didn't say I was borderline, but that book is about borderline patients. Am I to assume that I have borderline traits? I have cut my cut my wrists twice, in previous hospitalizations. The only time I have ever done anything like that at all. Am I overly concerned with labels?? Is there a continum of borderline? Where there are degrees of the disorder??
> I sure hope to receive some responses. Thank you.Helenag,
Welcome back from your hospitalization. I pray you're doing okay.
Here are a couple of links that you could follow to read up on borderline personality disorder( bpd). I'm hoping that you can glean some relevant info for yourself from these links.
http://www.psycom.net/depression.central.borderline.htmlhttp://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20031008/msgs/276034.html
From above link-----In case the diagnosis is unfamiliar to anyone, here are the DSM criteria, and those of the ICD-10, respectively:
http://www.mentalhealth.com/dis1/p21-pe05.html
http://www.mentalhealth.com/icd/p22-pe05.htmlAnd the rest are just links from within the Psycho-Babble site from threads mentioning BPD.
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030407/msgs/219836.html
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020222/msgs/95732.html post in thread by Helenbpd about bipolar vs. borderline
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030905/msgs/261597.html post by Fallsfall with book links about therapies for borderlines (borderliners? sorry I'm not sure of proper terminology)
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030925/msgs/266794.html NikkiT2 with link to fab. UK site about bpd
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20021012/msgs/123489.html from the post: "Pfinstegg (who used to have a diagnosis of BPD, but doesn't now)"
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020517/msgs/24015.html Zo musing about borderline traits
I know most of these links talk about bpd and you're mentioning only having traits but at least this is a start to finding some information and seeing that others are on this journey as well.
Good job on reaching out. Good luck with this healing as well.
Kindly,
zenhussy
Posted by helenag on December 8, 2003, at 21:56:11
In reply to Re: borderline traits, but not bd diagnosis???? » helenag, posted by zenhussy on December 8, 2003, at 11:24:39
can someone harbor borderline traits all their lives and have them suddenly come out in fuller force in middle age???
Posted by Kalamatianos on December 8, 2003, at 22:55:17
In reply to Re: borderline traits, but not bd diagnosis???? , posted by helenag on December 8, 2003, at 9:48:35
Until I learned this wiggy thing of going out-of-body to look at myself, nothing else worked. What got my attention was the question asked by a friend who claimed to do it all the time, "If I twist my ankle, can you (meaning me)feel my pain?" I was stunned, but then said I couldn't.
Likewise if you are in the pain you say you are, I'm not intentionally heartless to tell you I sympathize, but in reality I can't really feel your pain for you.
Same thing applied when I first went out-of-body, I couldn't feel the pain of the other-me across the room. We are beaten as children not to have fantasies, "They are the devil's playground". But the person I now see across the room is the real-me, from the point of view of the fantasy-me. The real-me is suffering and confused, while the fantasy-me is watching and learning. After some practice, my brain began to handle the details quite well.
See? It is pretty wiggy. But don't knock success.
Posted by fallsfall on December 9, 2003, at 1:12:14
In reply to Re: borderline traits, but not bd diagnosis???? , posted by helenag on December 8, 2003, at 21:56:11
Took me 38 years to show my borderline characteristics. Yes, absolutely.
But that isn't the norm. The norm is to start showing them in the early 20s (I think), and sometimes they ease up (even without treatment) around 35 - 40.
I guess some of us are just special.
Posted by judy1 on December 9, 2003, at 9:32:05
In reply to Re: borderline traits, but not bd diagnosis???? » helenag, posted by fallsfall on December 9, 2003, at 1:12:14
> I guess some of us are just special.
:-). I did the late teens onset, with the gradual 'maturing out' in my early 30's, then boom it has hit again (mid 30's)- although I am much more aware of what I'm doing. I think children have taught me to relate to others better, less of the splitting, but the si is there. I think we're just clearer as we get older.
This is the end of the thread.
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