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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 22 of 22. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by muffled on December 4, 2007, at 15:21:45
But I wanted to post right away to say it was a great! session I had. Not too stressful and stuff.My T really is amazing. I will post more later when I have time, and it involves some Godstuff so if that puts you off please take it w/a grain of salt...
But I wanted to post cuz then you guys can be thinking "I will have great sessions too" cuz you WILL. In short it was a review of what I HAVE accomplished, those are always good sessions, and I think important ones. If you haven't done one in awhile, its a good idea.
Catch you guys later,
Hope evrybody is doing mostly OK.
Muffled
Posted by lovelorn on December 4, 2007, at 15:33:39
In reply to OK Guys, GOOD session! Your turn will come., posted by muffled on December 4, 2007, at 15:21:45
Woohoo. Good for you. Review session. Hmmm. My T doesnt' do that. Maybe I will ask her about that. Well, look forward to reading what happened.
Posted by rskontos on December 4, 2007, at 17:24:53
In reply to Re: OK Guys, GOOD session! Your turn will come. » muffled, posted by lovelorn on December 4, 2007, at 15:33:39
Muffled, I am so happy for you..........I will hold you to that promise..................(((Muffled))))))))))))))
That is good to know there is a light at the end of tunnel.......i am happy for you and happy that you got some good news for you and yours as you deserve it so much!!!!
You keep that bright light of yours shining for all of us....
rk
Posted by TherapyGirl on December 4, 2007, at 17:29:52
In reply to OK Guys, GOOD session! Your turn will come., posted by muffled on December 4, 2007, at 15:21:45
That's great, Muffled. And I've seen how hard you've been working, so I'm not surprised that a progress check would go well.
Can't wait to hear the details.
Posted by muffled on December 4, 2007, at 21:17:52
In reply to Re: OK Guys, GOOD session! Your turn will come. » muffled, posted by TherapyGirl on December 4, 2007, at 17:29:52
tomorrow. Sorry. Wanto do a good job.
Take good care.
M
Posted by JoniS on December 4, 2007, at 22:46:29
In reply to OK Guys, GOOD session! Your turn will come., posted by muffled on December 4, 2007, at 15:21:45
Muff
I'm very happy for you and so glad that you have stuck with it through the difficult sessions so that you can also have sessions like this one.
Yea! Hold on to the feeling and the memory of the session.
Hope you're feeling better - rested and no more headache!
Joni
Posted by I need a hug on December 4, 2007, at 23:45:02
In reply to thx guys :-) I got headache and tired, post, posted by muffled on December 4, 2007, at 21:17:52
Muffled,
I'm so glad you had a great session! I hope your hedache gets better soon. HUGS
Posted by Poet on December 5, 2007, at 9:03:55
In reply to OK Guys, GOOD session! Your turn will come., posted by muffled on December 4, 2007, at 15:21:45
Hi Muffled,
Thanks for posting about your good session. I just had a crappy session, but it was my fault I told her I like my negativity and wouldn't change a thing. I don't think she believed me, I don't think I believed me.
Anyway, write more later. Hope your headache went away quickly.
Poet
Posted by rskontos on December 5, 2007, at 10:53:03
In reply to Re: OK Guys, GOOD session! Your turn will come. » muffled, posted by Poet on December 5, 2007, at 9:03:55
Poet I am not sure you meant to be you cracked me up when you said you told your therapist you like your negativity. How does a T react to this is what I was trying to picture. T talk I mean. I wrote mine to dump her in a email and of course that didn't work but to flat out say I am this way so there. Well I am sorry I laughed but I couldn't help it. I glad though you dont believe yourself.
Sorry muffled, I couldn't help but respond to Poet and I do hope you have lost that headache.
Take care both of you. You two are important 'round these here parts.....rk
Posted by 10derHeart on December 5, 2007, at 13:34:46
In reply to OK Guys, GOOD session! Your turn will come., posted by muffled on December 4, 2007, at 15:21:45
[Warning: Don't anyone faint from shock, 10der is actually going to post something, long even, about herself and her T.!!!! whoo-hoo, it's about time...I'd say.....okay you can pick your jaws up off the floor now....;-) [
As I was leaving T. today, I thought of you and this post, because it was one of my best sessions ever.I am dealing with the future knowledge I will be moving across the country in about 4.5 months, and have not been able to fully tell/ask my T. about a lot of the stuff I'm afraid about until today. The sadness is just too huge and I can hardly speek about it, but I HAVE to, as it's too heavy to bear alone, you know? He knows how sad it is for me, and how attached I am, and scared to leave him, but there's so many specifics I just haven't been able to say or even write......but today I just BLURTED the last 10-15 minutes, and it was a GREAT session.
I was thinking how weird and dumb he must think I'm being, needing to talk about all this NOW - months before - but I soon found out that was so far from the truth. I was ASSuming again....silly me. He was so kind and he said some sweet stuff about how he's been thinking of what our "last session" will be like (what?!! you're thinking of me during the week?!! whoa...!) and that he dreads it, in a way, that it is, and I quote, "a final session I really don't want to have." !!!!!! Talk about making someone feel cared for.....
Anyway....there's was lots more, and lots of tissues used by me, but we really talked about what will happen afterwards, that he doesn't mind emails or calls and he's NOT afraid I'll be too much and "break the rules," 'cause the "rules" (of how am I supposed to behave after I'm not a client any more) are NOT what I was fearing....that he sees it as transition in the relationship and NEVER termination (hates that word) but not some sort of total cut off or loss of the relationship.
Anyway...I should start my own thread on this, but just wanted to say it felt like you were part of WHY this warm session, which has relieved a lot of anxiety already , happened just now. Like you were so joyous about your own, you threw out the energy and it splashed all over others - me included....sometimes I call it a human nudge to God, who sometimes smiles and says, "sure...I can let that happen today..." Does any of that make sense? I think you can get it through my awkward words.
Hope you're feeling okay, Muffy, physically and otherwise, and that the aftermath of your great session lasts and lasts. See, those emotions DO have some, good and useful purpose sometimes, right? If only we didn't have to deal with the sad/hard/hurting ones, too :-( But, we have other Babblers to help with that,at least. And that's huge. (((Muffy and Babblers))
Posted by muffled on December 5, 2007, at 13:41:10
In reply to Re: Poet, this one is for you.......(((Muffled)))), posted by rskontos on December 5, 2007, at 10:53:03
But it is good to know that I can have good days.
I posted below bout today, so won't do it again here.
But it will do me good to remember the good day.
I will also change my song I am listening to.(Janies got a gun :-( ***TRIGGER SONG**, do not look it up).It used to make me feel powerful this song, now just sad.So, session:
I was feeling pretty negative thinking bout going to T. I didn't want to go. But I was listening to this religious program on radio and it said act THEN feel (about something entirely diff, but I just seemed to catch that particular line for some reason). So I thot OK, I will hold NO expectations of T, I will just go and hope for the best. THEN I can feel. And y'know it went good!
T was a little late so I went back outside and she phoned me and I said I was just outside, so I went in MP3 blaring in my ears.....and she was on phone :-( so I scuttled back out quick, stayed in hall, round the corner, listening to tunes, and T came and found me. NOT an auspicious start to session!
So we start with Godstuff, and it was kinda cool, cuz the only email I had sent T (WOW, I finally seem to be sending less....) anyhow, only email I sent was a blurb bout what my churchs sermon was about, and her church was closed that Sun cuz of snow, so she REALLY enjoyed to read my stuff and we talked bout it.
We talked bout prodigal son, how he blew all the money his dad gave him, but still his dad was glad to sse him when he came back. Then she said as how God would be glad to welcome me back, just like the dad in the story. Anyhow, it came to be that I saw myself as having retuned to my dad, but I was scared/ashamed to go in. That I was lurking in the bushes. And T says, what if dad is calling you to come in? and I said, I would run away. So T said ITS OK W/GOD THAT I SKULK IN BUSHES! and I can skulk as long as I need to, and when I am ready, God is waiting. So it was huge for me that I don't HAVE to be Godly, I can be scared and thats OK. And skulkings OK too. There's alot to tell with this whole bit but it will take too long to type.
OK religious part OVER!
So some good points:
T said its GOOD that I can't seem to dissociate when I want to cuz its not considered a healthy coping mechanism. She said its good that I am more 'present' in situations, that its a good thing, if hard to deal with. It is a sign of growth.
We went over the reasons I came to therapy, and the things as well that she was trying to achieve with me. And I have improved very well in some sectors.
I now very rarely 'do a runner', where I just make sure hubby is home w/kids, and I take off overnite and do drugs and self injure and do many risky things. I haven't done this in quite a long while.
My self injury is HUGELY improved. I don't often SI anymore.
I have many more coping skills that I never knew existed and can do them without thinking so hard about it. I am becomming more accomplished at coping.
I, for the most part, feel much better bout myself. There are parts that still do not, I goto work on them.
I am much more involved with people, but only up to a point. I still have my 'wall', that noone passes.
I contribute, and I do OK at it. I get lotsa positive remarks from others for the work I do. It makes me feel more competant and good bout myself.
I am MUCH better understanding some things bout myself.
I need to remember and work on negative self talk....
Etc Etc.
But the point of this all is that I communicated pretty well w/T. We affirmed that I am improving, though lately I been struggling pretty bad.
We also kinda had some more clarity regarding where I am at with therapy, and in doing so clarified some things I need to do.
My T carefully steered away from any triggery topics.
We touched and fled from talking of my peeps.
When we talked of knowing myself and how I work, my T mentioned med probs and family stuff, but never said bout the 'other'. Which is so good. Cuz then I just bog down.
So all in all it was so well done. We were pretty focussed on our task and therefore didn't get sidetracked.
Took a long time and was tiring, but T didn't have appt right after me.
So I am glad maybe she feels better, and I do too.
But today I dunno wassup.
But thats just the way its been lately and I doubt it has a whole lot to do w/T yesterday.
Anyhow.
I think review sessions are a good idea, so that we can kinda see that we HAVE moved ahead in a general sense(even if sometimes we fall back)but we moving ahead.
It also helps me to see what is ahead to work on. To see some of the bigger pic.My T smiles and says...well I guess we'll be seeing each other for a bit yet! (ha, ha?!)
Anyhow.
Melencholy muffled today.
Take care all.
M
Posted by muffled on December 5, 2007, at 15:05:46
In reply to You were SO right! I just had one today :-) » muffled, posted by 10derHeart on December 5, 2007, at 13:34:46
> [Warning: Don't anyone faint from shock, 10der is actually going to post something, long even, about herself and her T.!!!! whoo-hoo, it's about time...I'd say.....okay you can pick your jaws up off the floor now....;-) [
*manoman I finally got my jaw up!!! LOL!!! This post was SO wonderful to read. just what I needed.
Funny how goodness spreads eh?!> As I was leaving T. today, I thought of you and this post, because it was one of my best sessions ever.
*ahhh (((goodsessions)))
> I am dealing with the future knowledge I will be moving across the country in about 4.5 months, and have not been able to fully tell/ask my T. about a lot of the stuff I'm afraid about until today. The sadness is just too huge and I can hardly speek about it, but I HAVE to, as it's too heavy to bear alone, you know? He knows how sad it is for me, and how attached I am, and scared to leave him, but there's so many specifics I just haven't been able to say or even write......but today I just BLURTED the last 10-15 minutes, and it was a GREAT session.*Sigh, that IS tough :-(
Yeah, the "last minute blurt " thing, its good you blurted. Lotsa time I want to but don't.
>
> I was thinking how weird and dumb he must think I'm being, needing to talk about all this NOW - months before - but I soon found out that was so far from the truth. I was ASSuming again....silly me.*I think its VERY important to talk bout this. Its gonna be hard I suspect. Ya, I ASSume alot too...bad habit eh!
>He was so kind and he said some sweet stuff about how he's been thinking of what our "last session" will be like (what?!! you're thinking of me during the week?!! whoa...!)
* ((( T )))
>and that he dreads it, in a way, that it is, and I quote, "a final session I really don't want to have." !!!!!! Talk about making someone feel cared for.....
*you deserve that caring ((10der)).
> Anyway....there's was lots more, and lots of tissues used by me, but we really talked about what will happen afterwards, that he doesn't mind emails or calls and he's NOT afraid I'll be too much and "break the rules," 'cause the "rules" (of how am I supposed to behave after I'm not a client any more) are NOT what I was fearing....that he sees it as transition in the relationship and NEVER termination (hates that word) but not some sort of total cut off or loss of the relationship.*My T was just the same when I was going to terminate at one time.. I guess our T's have invested alot into us, they don't wanto see it go wrong! But really, I think they just honestly care, I really do. Us babblers, for all that we seem to have such a hard time beleiving it, are apparently a fairly lovable bunch! Hmmmm :-)
> Anyway...I should start my own thread on this, but just wanted to say it felt like you were part of WHY this warm session, which has relieved a lot of anxiety already , happened just now. Like you were so joyous about your own, you threw out the energy and it splashed all over others - me included....sometimes I call it a human nudge to God, who sometimes smiles and says, "sure...I can let that happen today..." Does any of that make sense? I think you can get it through my awkward words.*Indeed I get it, and thanks for throwing some back to me, I needed it :-) Also I am thrilled that you added to this thread cuz its the same topic, so why not! Makes things easier to find.
> Hope you're feeling okay, Muffy, physically and otherwise, and that the aftermath of your great session lasts and lasts. See, those emotions DO have some, good and useful purpose sometimes, right? If only we didn't have to deal with the sad/hard/hurting ones, too :-( But, we have other Babblers to help with that,at least. And that's huge. (((Muffy and Babblers))*(((10der))) That was SUCH a cool post. Hope to see more of those! Happy or sad, s'ok.
And thanks. You helped me right back.
M
Posted by rskontos on December 5, 2007, at 15:19:11
In reply to Waaaahhoooo! :-) :-) » 10derHeart, posted by muffled on December 5, 2007, at 15:05:46
Posted by TherapyGirl on December 5, 2007, at 18:02:52
In reply to Thanks guys, today I struggle, posted by muffled on December 5, 2007, at 13:41:10
I'm sorry you're melancholy today, Muffly, but that sounds like a wonderful session. I really like your T and the bond between you two. You are doing great work.
Posted by TherapyGirl on December 5, 2007, at 18:06:44
In reply to Thanks guys, today I struggle, posted by muffled on December 5, 2007, at 13:41:10
I'm not saying this is why you're melancholy, but I know for me the better the session, the stronger my connection with T, the harder it is to be away from her. Just something to think about.
Posted by Dinah on December 5, 2007, at 18:11:16
In reply to Re: Thanks guys, today I struggle » muffled, posted by TherapyGirl on December 5, 2007, at 18:06:44
I find the same thing. Having an extra special session makes me feel sad and a bit restless.
Posted by Dinah on December 6, 2007, at 11:32:44
In reply to You were SO right! I just had one today :-) » muffled, posted by 10derHeart on December 5, 2007, at 13:34:46
10der, I'm so glad you did post! I hope it's the start of a new habit. :)
Isn't it amazing how what we're sure they're thinking isn't what they're thinking at all? Even after all this time?
I'm glad your therapist is willing to keep in touch. I was surprised that when we were moving mine was willing to continue seeing me in whatever method we were able to devise for as long as it was helpful. I was sure he'd say something stern about wanting me to find someone new and bond to them.
I'm not at all surprised he isn't looking forward to your last session. You've been seeing him a while, and you care for each other. My therapist says that all the time, but I think it finally came home when he had tears in his eyes when our move looked final. (And even my most cynical side couldn't put up much of an argument that they were over my income stream.)
I hope that knowledge, and the fact that he's willing to make contact, make your moving easier.
What a great session that was!
Posted by muffled on December 6, 2007, at 15:31:33
In reply to Re: Thanks guys, today I struggle » muffled, posted by TherapyGirl on December 5, 2007, at 18:02:52
Sigh TG, the T relationship is SO worrysome.
Now my T is being SO supportive. "Strong support".
Now I bothered by THAT.
Not sure WHY it bothers me but it does.
maybe I feel like she invade my island of aloneness.
I would like her to care, but when she shows it, it freaks me out.
I keep wondering WHY? she care ANYway, WHY she keep after me? WHY she not dump me? WHAT does she WANT? what does she GET? I pay her, but not a helluvalot.
Only thing I can think of was my ma was kinda messed and needy, and I spect I resented it, so mebbe I afraid my T will turn into my mom and be needy and a drain on me? Or mebbe more like my sis? She was a challenge too.
Hmmmm.Dunno.
God I am SO weird.
My poor T can't win.
Take care TG,
M
Posted by Daisym on December 7, 2007, at 1:16:39
In reply to Re: Thanks guys, today I struggle » TherapyGirl, posted by muffled on December 6, 2007, at 15:31:33
I think letting anyone close to us is scary. We worry about being left and we worry about letting them down somehow -or being too much or too hard or too boring...whatever. It is hard to keep someone who cares so "loudly" at arms length.
My therapist asked me to try and listen to my feelings and not "think" so much about what he is thinking - he said I'm projecting so much onto him and then I read it as coming from him. I think that is true.
Trust is just plain hard. But so is being alone.
So there you go.
Posted by rskontos on December 7, 2007, at 15:48:10
In reply to Re: Thanks guys, today I struggle, posted by Daisym on December 7, 2007, at 1:16:39
Amen Daisym!
Posted by Dinah on December 7, 2007, at 22:29:49
In reply to OK Guys, GOOD session! Your turn will come., posted by muffled on December 4, 2007, at 15:21:45
The first in a while, I think. You and your therapist must be contagious. :)
We ended up with a lively and funny discussion. But most of the session was spent on my asking him if he could help me in developing a deeper sense of spirituality. Since he'd tried at the beginning of therapy to include eastern philosophy and meditation, he thinks it's a great idea. Maybe we've come full circle, except this time I'm more ready.
Posted by muffled on December 7, 2007, at 23:07:07
In reply to I had one too!! » muffled, posted by Dinah on December 7, 2007, at 22:29:49
This is the end of the thread.
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