Posted by Dinah on June 30, 2006, at 8:25:59
In reply to Re: I don't know how to be a mother to an older child » Dinah, posted by Kath on June 29, 2006, at 18:10:10
Thanks for the book recommendation. I'll look that up.
I think I'm afraid of being my mother. She always had trouble knowing where she ended and I began. And I had an enmeshed relationship with my father too. I'm afraid I'll keep him too close, and not encourage him to be his own person. And I'm just not sure how to keep that from happening.
On the other hand, my personal style in all relationships tends to be more distant than encroaching, and I'm afraid I'm not giving him enough of myself.
Two contradictory fears.
I'm doing my best. He used to never disagree with us at all, but I convinced him that disagreeing with us and asking for more freedom would please us, so he tries.
I'm sure this will come up in his therapy twenty years from now. :)
poster:Dinah
thread:660918
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/child/20050817/msgs/662871.html