Posted by llrrrpp on July 21, 2006, at 17:29:18
In reply to Re: I think most people have self esteem, posted by Declan on July 18, 2006, at 19:07:23
> Lets say that you were proud of the fact that you were always questioning your abilities. Maybe that's not the best example...but you can be proud of things, I am proud of things about myself. Let's say you were proud of the fact that you followed your heart, no matter where it led you. What then?
And an example. Personally experienced by moi. Having admitted to myself and others that I was mentally ill (depression) I lost confidence in my ability to play violin, do work. Write. Think.
In its stead, I was confident in my ability to be depressed. I actually took pride in my ability to cut myself, starve myself, and write dour poems. When I was feeling uncertain of who I was, I just looked at the scabs on my inner arms, or the decreasing size of my waistline.
I think regular folks are more confident in some things and less confident in other things. The degree to which we allow our failures to define our "self" is individual, and it can change a lot depending on how mentally "healthy" we are. (I think I've got more self- esteem today than at nearly any day in the last 3 months).
I guess Declan's point is that it's useful to be proud of things that are adaptive in your environment. For example- If you are an underling, best to be proud of your ability to execute directions efficiently. If you are a manager, best to be confident in your ability to give orders, and convince your underlings to follow these directions.
If you were proud of the fact that you followed your heart, no matter where it lead- this could be a source of strenth for people who are political activists, or suicide bombers, or who put their lives on the line for a cause, who chain themselves to trees, or decide to spend a week submerged in water an attempt to break a world record.
-ll
poster:llrrrpp
thread:667665
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/esteem/20060706/msgs/669105.html