Posted by llrrrpp on July 23, 2006, at 15:20:29
In reply to A local minima? » llrrrpp, posted by Declan on July 23, 2006, at 15:01:38
> I've no idea why I find company so stressful, why in fact the company of kind decent people can make me desperate.
Perhaps you need to spend more time around troubled people. I recently had the opportunity to witness a senior member of my department have a public meltdown because he had left his wife the week before for his mistress, who he just found out is completely unfaithful to him. Lovely, huh? Superimpose this on his history of severe depression, and suddenly my problems seem somewhat more manageable. For instance, this guy kept on saying the the sex was so hot that he would give up on his marriage, even though the mistress was so cruel to him. yep. not my problem. Helps me put things into perspective.
>
> I'm annoyed by labels like (I dunno what's relevant) social phobia or PTSD. (I grew up on neurosis, but have a soft spot for neurasthenia.)yeah, such labels are so fuzzy. They try to describe our personality & our minds, which are indescribable.
> I had always thought that if I could find the right words to capture the experience then it would become more manageable, that it would be possible to create laughter out of fear, at any rate. The fear of making mistakes comes to mind. Maybe socially there are a great many mistakes you can make? We're not supposed to worry about making mistakes (are we?).
Declan, you know too many words already. mere mortal minds (like me!) can hardly keep up with you as it is!!
Well, laughing at yourself is a lovely thing to work on. After the fear and anger and hurt are gone, can you look at what happened and realize the ridicularity of it all? Sure there are a lot of mistakes to be made. I make them all the time, so do most people. But the rules of society are not written down, immutable. They change dramatically depending on circumstance and inebriation. Just be true to yourself, and don't take the consequencese too seriously. A gaffe is usually forgotten quickly. Anyone who holds a grudge because of a social "error" is probably not worth your company anyways.
> I remind myself that the political version of 'mistake' might be a couple of hundred thousand lives ('mistakes were made'), and try to relax.
Oh yeah. I'm glad that the consequences of my decisions are not so permanent or shocking.
cheerio,
-ll
poster:llrrrpp
thread:667665
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/esteem/20060706/msgs/669732.html