Posted by alexandra_k on October 3, 2006, at 18:01:01
In reply to Re: 10 things to be proud of myself for » alexandra_k, posted by Lindenblüte on October 3, 2006, at 13:08:15
> If there is a heated/triggering/sensitive discussion going on, the people involved in it have to be prepared for the intrusion of other people. In fact, they should expect it, and plan accordingly (i.e. don't put up your address where others might find it, even if it's only for a minute or so!) [analagous to posting sensitive info on boards]
Thats why I suggested room 2 become a 'regular' room for triggering discussions. That way people from room 1 should have the perogative to ask if people can take it to room 2 too. I've been asked to shut up about a particular topic in chat on a number of occasions. I tell people to put me on ignore. But it can be hard to follow the conversations when there are multiple conversations going on...
> And the people who go into a preestablished chat have to expect that the topic may be upsetting/triggering/unpleasant/irrelevant/boring and be prepared to make a graceful exit if necessary. [analagous to being selective about which posts to read]Sure. And I really do think that posters in room 2 should also be able to say if they are having a sort of private conversation. I know it will hurt a little :-( But I really do think it would save hurt in the long run. It should be used really sensitively though, I agree.
> I don't see how a support website can ever justify excluding any responsible, civil member of the community from reading, or commenting on a discussion, even if it is already in progress.Well... Just try getting into 'restricted' chat... Feel excluded there?
> [the analogy here would be if I see a longish thread that is a dialogue between two people, and I interupt it to post something. If it's in the spirit of support and it's civil, I think it would be [extremely] hurtful for someone to imply that my post was irrelevant or intrusive. Acknowledge it/don't acknowledge it- fine, ignore it. I cannot think of an alternative that wouldn't be hurtful.
With posts I really do think there is a very important disanalogy... A new poster can read the whole thread to see where the conversation is up to and thus they can join in. Chat is in close to real time, however. It could take a while to rehash things so the other person knows what is going on...
> And, I have learned a valuable lesson- Don't ask a question when I'm not prepared to deal with the answer.Yes. But that being said... I think I would have felt hurt too, so I really do understand.
And like I said... I'm sorry for my part in your hurt.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:689892
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/esteem/20060921/msgs/691599.html