Posted by cakins on July 10, 2004, at 9:39:42
I can hardly type, I am finding it hard to think, the only thing I feel is pain, and I want it to end. It has been hard lately worse, I have been feeling sick, getting dizzy passing out, vomiting, my hands are shaking now, I can barley even see though the tears. I am about to lose my job, and I am more than entertaining the thought of taking the "easy" way out without even realizing it, I am relish in the though of suicide. I am 37 years old, divorced 2 years, three children, I just moved to south Florida, and I am having the most horrible time with what I think may be a severe depression, or anxiety. I do not know if I have experienced depression before, or manic episodes. I can’t sleep, do want to eat, I drink all of the time, I am having violent mood swing, I got angry with my now ex-girlfriend for not making a right turn. I work excessively to try and forget about my life, but it is so lonely, I have gotten pets but they do not help, I do not even want to take care of them. I am plagued with nightmares, and insomnia, I can only get a few hours sleep before I wake up shacking, vomiting. I do not and will not go to a hospital or clinic, I do not want to be locked away that would send me over for sure. I was picked up over one year ago, but they released me on my own. It was right after I was served for my divorce. I am very afraid that I am going to lose it soon; I need help. Please, if anyone knows of somewhere that I can turn to, I live in Ft. Lauderdale, and I really do want to get better.
poster:cakins
thread:364681
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/newbs/20040420/msgs/364681.html