Posted by AdaGrace on September 16, 2004, at 12:11:52
First of all, this is my first time here. I really can't tell you how I got here except I was looking for some information on some new drugs I had been prescribed...Lexapro & Ativan. As I was reading some post, I thought maybe some of you might be able to give me some support. I feel as if my world has ended, and it was my own doing. I lost someone I truely loved with all my heart to another woman..... Now before you trivialize this as not important enough to be written here, let me explain. I fell in love with someone else, and I am married. Two strikes against me. But I fell deeper and deeper in love with this man and now after 4 years he descided to move on, and i don't blame him. My problem now is that I blame everyone around me, my husband, my children, and myself for me losing that one chance I might have had for happyness. I am devestated. I cry every day, all day long. Nothing gets cleaned or picked up at home. I've started having panic attacks and get lost driving. My body is so messed up I can't even eat without it going right through me. I have broken in out in huge boils on my face. I know part of the problem is the guilt I feel for allowing this to happen in the first place and for all the pain I caused everyone involved. I have considered ending it all, but am so affraid of the trauma that would put on my children. I entered therapy last Friday, and started on meds yesterday, All I feel is numb now. I have never felt good about myself, and now, I feel nothing but discust for myself.
poster:AdaGrace
thread:391503
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/newbs/20040812/msgs/391503.html