Posted by Dinah on November 11, 2003, at 20:00:58
In reply to Re: Abrupt Session Ending » Dinah, posted by DaisyM on November 11, 2003, at 19:15:44
> Dinah,
> I can just picture the two of you, LOL.
>
Yeah. :) It can be kind of amusing sometimes.> I want to clarify that time isn't a "secret". It is just that the clock sits on a low table facing him that I can't see unless I move and actually work to look at it. I think I'll just take off my watch, I always wear one, and put it on my lap so I can see it.
>
That sounds like a good plan. I wouldn't worry about looking though. You can see that most people here like to manage their sessions well enough to leave in one piece. A therapist should be able to understand that.>
> When you repeat a question, does he get annoyed? The question I asked was a health question, so it was, I guess, kinda personal. I don't know now if I still want to really know but I want him to know that I realize that he didn't answer.No, he doesn't get annoyed. Well maybe sometimes. He gets annoyed at me quite frequently really, I guess. But I feel safe enough with him not to mind. And I guess he feels comfortable enough with me to admit it sort of (he also knows I'm a human lie detector). So we both know it's ok for him to be annoyed. Ok, sometimes I forget when he's just plain angry or as he says "frustrated", with no amusement or resigned tolerance mixed in.
But mainly he's amused by my dogged determination in asking questions. And he usually thinks a while and finds some way of answering that says as much as he feels comfortable saying while being honest. (Sometimes he's a bit too honest. He said once that sometimes he gets a bit too comfortable because we've been together so long. But how can a client mind a statement like that?)
Are you concerned about his health? Do you have reason to believe he's not in good health? That would be anxiety provoking, I know. Hmmmmm...... It is a tricky subject to raise. But if you're a patient of his, you do have a personal interest in his personal business.... But still difficult... I generally don't ask personal questions directly, I guess. He's volunteers things, and I might mention that he seems tired or tense or happy or something immediate and he comments as much as he wants to.
I think if something were important to me to know, but personal to him, I might say something really neutral like "I notice you didn't answer my question about your health, and I hope I wasn't out of line in asking it." That would still let him not answer. And if I was worried about how it would impact *me* (which is, after all the most important thing - grin), I might ask he anticipated any change in his working arrangements.
Is he the sort who would get annoyed at being asked again? And is he the sort where being annoyed is a big deal, or is he pretty laid back like mine. Mine can be annoyed, amused, aggravated, fond, exasperated, sympathetic, all at once. Or at least pretty soon.
poster:Dinah
thread:278375
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031030/msgs/278766.html