Posted by JenStar on November 13, 2004, at 22:00:20
In reply to He keeps talking about his girlfriend . . ., posted by Aphrodite on November 13, 2004, at 18:41:36
Here's my thoughts on transference...just my 2 cents after musing on therapy & therapists...
Even if a woman is in a happy, stable, great relationship, it's easy to get a transference crush on a doctor/therapist. We see them as a caretaker, a giver, a fixer, and a healer -- the kind of person whose arms you can crawl into for solace.
Most of us would not want the T to hit on us, because we rely on them for emotional sustenance. However, the relationship with the T is kind of magical and works best in a sort of isolation...where you KNOW they have a family/SO, but don't have to SEE it all the time.
It's nice to think that the T -- for at least an hour a week -- is YOURS and YOURS ALONE. If he talks about his family too much, it might interfere with that magic hour too much; it inserts too much "otherness" into the client/T relationship. On the other hand, if he NEVER talks about his life/family, it might make the client overly curious, which can also detract from the relationship.
He probably feels that he's just being open and dynamic. Maybe you should take it as your cue to be open and dynamic too. Don't be afraid to ask questions about the girlfriend. Ask lots of questions! Ask him why he feels so comfy talking about her to you (if it's unusual for him.)
I'm sure that whatever you say, it's GUARANTEED to start a very interesting conversation!
good luck. It's easy for me to sit here and offer advice, not so easy when it's me in the office. I like to offer bold advice that sometimes I would be afraid to take myself (even if I like it!)
take care...
JenStar
poster:JenStar
thread:415589
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041113/msgs/415643.html