Posted by daisym on November 13, 2004, at 22:01:46
In reply to He keeps talking about his girlfriend . . ., posted by Aphrodite on November 13, 2004, at 18:41:36
I think it could definitely be jealousy of their relationship, the fact that he has her and she has him, when you can't count on your own partner. I use to get that feeling when I was teaching childbirth classes and I'd see couples who were really connected.
It would drive me a little nuts if my therapist talked about his wife frequently. She's a therapist and has an office just down the hall. So he's commented about her, or I have, but it maybe hasn't been more than a handful of time in the 17 months of seeing him. She's been in my dreams a few times and he is always interested in that.
Maybe you could hold up your hand next time and say, "you are so lucky to have someone special...it makes me a little nuts, since I don't. Can we not bring her in here with us? At least for awhile."
And if it does turn erotic, you will learn from it and get through it. It happens to lots of people. Just because you are smart, doesn't mean it won't. And it doesn't diminish you in some way, like you were supposed to be able to prevent it somehow. It is a common part of transference, especially given your history. Just be sure to tell him about it.
Hugs,
Daisy
poster:daisym
thread:415589
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041113/msgs/415645.html