Posted by Susan47 on March 17, 2005, at 12:12:17
In reply to A form of dissociation I hate. I'm so weird., posted by Dinah on March 17, 2005, at 10:04:21
I don't understand Dinah, why you said you're weird. The disocciation you experienced this visit is totally expected, isn't it? I mean, you really probably should be angry with him because he did say insulting things to you. But you're refusing to be angry with him because he might leave you then, so you've shut him out, you refuse to allow him to have any emotional relevance to you whatsoever ... so of course you wouldn't know why you were there, on one level, and know why you were on another. There's the two parts of you, fighting each other. You love him, he hurts you. Disconnect. You don't love him, he doesn't hurt you. But the love is real, and won't go away, and that part of you is real too, so that parts looking on going, okay, he's your therapist, you're there because he means a lot to you.. reminding you, you know, so you don't completely disconnect, you can't. It's the part that's going to release you, I think. Hmmm. Of course I'm probably all wrong again and mind-gesticulating endlessly, but it was fun. And it was probably all related to me anyway, what I've gone through. I better post and re-read this here.
poster:Susan47
thread:471999
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050315/msgs/472035.html