Posted by Tamar on June 21, 2005, at 8:11:07
In reply to Should I marry someone like my dad? » pinkeye, posted by pinkeye on June 20, 2005, at 17:39:46
I’m extremely surprised that your T would suggest divorcing your husband and marrying an older man. On the other hand, I can imagine it more easily if she knows about your husband’s violence towards you. But even then, finding a new partner is not the most obvious solution to domestic violence, because many women leave one violent partner for another violent partner.
I find it hard to understand why she says you won’t fully recover from what happened with your father and why marrying an older man would help with your continuing problems. I suppose there’s a distinction to be made between full recovery and living with the aftermath; after all, we can’t erase the past. But how would an older man help with it?
I had a few relationships with older men before I was married and none of them were father figures to me. They just happened to be older (in one case 30 years older!). But maybe there are cultural factors that could add a paternal dimension to a relationship with an older man. I dunno.
Although I’m very surprised that your T would suggest it, I suppose there’s a possibility that she’s right. How do *you* feel about the idea of divorcing your husband and marrying someone older and more paternal?
poster:Tamar
thread:516060
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050615/msgs/516511.html