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Re: 3 days and counting...(a little long) » daisym

Posted by 10derHeart on July 5, 2005, at 23:41:42

In reply to Re: 3 days and counting...(a little long) » Poet, posted by daisym on July 5, 2005, at 23:10:28

>But at 6pm I caved and left a message saying this was impossibly hard, knowing he was back and yet knowing I couldn't see him. I asked if we could touch base in the morning.

That's a good thing, Daisy. I DO understand all you've posted about not opening things back up until the time is more right with all the intense stress in your life, and in this case, I'd support that. But....I think you at least need to hear his voice (live)...just as an anchor and a calming force. I know there is a chance it'll trigger you to get a bit upset, but I hear in your *voice* you want to soak up some of what he has for you right now, even on the phone, so perhaps it's worth the risk...?

> I hate being human

Oh, but Daisy (and I know you'll want to disagree on certian levels..) you are so very GOOD at being human! Hate it all you want, but you are a wonderful human! You inspire so many here to keep on going. You get me to put my own stuff in perspective and I am just so proud to know you, ever if it's only in the cyber-way of *knowing*!

I don't think you'd rather be inhuman.
Or subhuman.
Or unfeeling.
Or in 100% control of your emotions.
It's just a powerful fantasy when we are so exhausted from it all.
And you have more to be worn down from and scared of than the average bear.... (((Daisy)))

You are doing great.
Talk to him tomorrow. Try not to change your mind...not that you said that, but just in case the thoughts start....'cause you know he'll keep calling.
He cares SO much.
Let him back in just maybe...5%, until you're more ready?
Sounds like you're intending to and that's good.
I bet it'll be a very comforting 5%.
A warm hug....10der

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