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Re: The home stretch (small trigger) » daisym

Posted by Jazzed on July 6, 2005, at 3:53:19

In reply to The home stretch (small trigger), posted by daisym on July 6, 2005, at 0:31:28

> I'm hurting so, so much. But why? He came back. So what is this ENORMOUS pain in my chest that makes it hard to breathe and hard to think? I feel like I'm holding a million gallons of tears and if I let even one drip out, we'll need several sessions to get the faucet off.

Oh daisy i'm so sorry, I wish you had that appt. I know you don't want it and you don't want to cry but you need to cry and you need that appt. your T is right, please don't avoid him! What time's the meeting, could you possibly see him b4 the meeting?

>
> See, I knew this is what would happen. I want him to make "it" all better and he can't. But I still want him to. I feel so much like a 4-year-old that gets picked up from daycare late and falls apart the minute she sees her mom.
>
> Help me, you guys, this is the home stretch but I don't think I can get through. This night is impossibly long -- which should be a good thing because I'm so overwhelmed with fear about tomorrow. I have to face a room full of angry people. But if tomorrow doesn't come, I don't get to talk to my therapist. I don't even know what I'm hoping for anymore. Somehow "I'm totally suicidal" doesn't seem the appropriate welcome back sentence.

Please don't hurt yourself. you need to see your T and tell him everything that you've been feeling. He can help you work through this, but he has to know what's going on. You made it through his vacation. I know it was hard but you made it, and he's back now. Go see him!

>
> I'm sorry. I just don't know what to do with myself tonight. Except sit on my hands. I keep repeating, "these are just feelings. Feelings change." I've been here before. But it is still a painful place.

Feeelings can be so painful, I know, and you can get to the morning, and hopefully you'll call and be able to see him.
((((hugs)))))))))))
Jazzy


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