Posted by Gabbix2 on December 11, 2005, at 14:25:21
In reply to Re: Will my words diminish dreams ,spirits of another? » Gabbix2, posted by allisonross on December 11, 2005, at 7:14:11
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> It's only natural to not want to hear criticism. I lived with it as a child and then in 31 years of marriage. I've worked excruciatingly long and hard to get the toxic people out of my life.
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> None of my friends ever...criticize me. THey allow me....to be me. I feel "heard" with them, at that is what we all need..to be heard, and validated.
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> Because of abuse I (lots of abused people) are hypersensitive to criticism; it is only natural for that to happen.
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Okay, I'm going to try once again to get my point across and then I admit defeat.Yes, I am sensitive to criticism, in my personal life, unwarranted criticism about how I act, what I should be d oing etc.
However, If I speak out about something in public and when people tell me how I feel about it, I say "I can't hear it!" that's a different bailliwick.
I'm going to use the example of religion and priests here, and I hope no one feels offended that I'm making that comparison, it's the only one I can think of though.
If I were on a board with many religious folks, and decided I was going to write about what I want to do with my pastor, or priest, who would also have boundaries, call myself saucy for doing it, (acknowledging that I'm pushing the envelope) How could I not expect others to tell me how they feel about it?
How could I ask that they not tell me, that well "I gotta be me, and this is how I do it and now y'all made me feel bad and I shouldn't have to feel bad because I've suffered"
I have no regard for priests, (IRL) but you know, I do know that other people do have deep feelings about them, and knowing that I would respect it, even though I may not understand.
And no one is asking that you not say how you feel, what they are doing is having a conversation, and asking for a compromise.
A free spirit can't have it both ways.
No free spirit I know expects complete aprobation, If you know that you're pushing the boundaries, you've got to expect that someone is going to tell you how they feel about it.
It goes both ways..
On a board like this often it isn't about "Their stuff and my stuff" it's about "our stuff" and how can we work out compromise.
poster:Gabbix2
thread:587729
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051210/msgs/588076.html