Posted by Tamar on December 11, 2005, at 14:42:31
In reply to Re: OK, here's my problem...((Tamar)))) » Tamar, posted by allisonross on December 10, 2005, at 21:10:12
> > Aside from all that, I don’t seem to recall a single person asking Ally *why* she enjoys joking sexually about her therapist, or whether she believes it is helpful to flirt in therapy.
>
> Thankyou, sweetie!
> The answer is simple: With my therapist (and in life) I enjoy teasing and joking; am a free spirit in a buttoned down, locked down world, I know. My teasing is always subtle and gentle--never crude or offensive.Thanks for the answer, Ally. I suppose it leads me to ask further questions… (you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to!)
I had the opposite experience from you. I tease and flirt with people IRL, just as you say you do, but in therapy I tried very hard never to be flirtatious. It was partly a fear of rejection and partly a fear that he’d think I was a ‘bad girl’ and partly that I felt (for whatever reason) that flirting in therapy would disempower me a little.
So I enjoy sexual joking about therapists here at Babble because I suppressed my inclinations to flirt in therapy.
But for you I think it’s different. You do flirt in therapy, you say. So maybe you’re experiencing a different kind of relief when you joke about him here.
Sometimes I wonder – and of course I may be totally off the mark – if perhaps you’re a little annoyed at your therapist for being able to resist you. If you are, I think that’s pretty normal. I only ask because you haven’t said much about being angry at anything… You’ve shared events from your life that must have been extremely difficult to deal with and I imagine you must have been angry, though you didn’t say. And now your love and desire for your therapist is difficult to deal with, and perhaps that makes you angry. I know there were times when I was furious at my therapist for not wanting to tear off my clothes (not that I ever told him I wanted him to do any such thing…).
But joking about him might be a way of ‘pretending’ you’re not angry.
Please feel free to ignore me if you think I’m talking nonsense.
Tamar
poster:Tamar
thread:587729
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051210/msgs/588081.html