Posted by B2chica on August 27, 2007, at 9:05:09
In reply to Question *sex trigger*, posted by muffled on August 25, 2007, at 10:19:20
Muffled, sorry i late on response. i know you got a lot of good advice from others...i'll just talk and you can ignore if you want.
i dont' know for you but for me i'm in a different 'state' when with DH. ok, don't laugh but sometimes if i want closeness but don't feel completely ''there', when i'm with DH i picture myself an actress in a love scene and do what i think she'd do...(though i don't recommend doing this if you don't really want to be there-then it not good for you).
before i got the flood of memories back, i think i just repressed everything. since memories have come back its a little trickier. but DH is just SO different than anyone else i've known...he's VERY caring in bed. he's gentle (cuz i have physical pain with sex) and slow. also, if i need to stop he does...all this and he really doesn't know ANY of my history or what i'm going through!
with others before him...well, i guess i felt if i initiate it, then they can't 'take' it from me and hurt me. expect nothing in return and you won't get hurt. and did i mention i don't think i had sober sex till i was 5 years into marriage?? ya probably not that healthy....and i still need a good buzz once and a while to do it.sorry i did have to laugh at the picture of your poor hubby flying off the bed-i pictured him doing a double flip and landing upsidown, hehe. sorry.
but seriously...
Muffy. this is NOT ridiculous. this is your feelings. you have EVERY right to them. and if you are that upset by sex. please dont force yourself to do it. last time i did that i SI'd VERY severely. its not healthy.and certainly your surgery would have something to do with your feelings. heck i had a hard enough time with my child's birth at age 33...i can't imagine an invasive procedure when i was younger.
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i agree with you about this 'kid' stuff. sometimes i feel so silly 'talking to her'...but i did this by myself for the first time this weekend...and i can't believe it but it worked. its hard, and its weird because they are becoming more and more prominent outside therapy.
i'm sorry you have your 'kid's', but i'm also glad not to be so alone with this.please take care muffy.
poster:B2chica
thread:778532
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070822/msgs/779016.html