Posted by Daisym on June 10, 2011, at 12:24:11
In reply to Re: Is this really better?, posted by annierose on June 10, 2011, at 8:40:48
Sometimes I think we all expect way too much from ourselves. It is human to want to avoid unpleasant things - even if those things are "just" feelings. One of my teachers is fond of saying, "most problems were a solution at one time."
The idea of coping is to find something that works for you. And then not judge the coping mechanism. I know when we stop and look at it, having to cope with the coping mechanism seems silly but I've decided that is life. Things happen, we adjust to them, and then another thing happens and we adjust again. I'm not fully self-accepting yet, but I'm catching myself wasting energy railing against things. I think self-soothing looks very different for each individual and short of hurting someone else, anything goes.
I'm reading Martha Beck's Book "4-Day Win" - which is a dieting book but really, it is about self-acceptance and rewiring your brain. Plus it is pretty hilarious in places. I recommend it, not for the weight loss, but more for thinking about how our brain is wired to take us down destructive paths until we begin to think differently.
Once again I find myself wishing we all lived closer so we could have more of these conversations together. The path to self-acceptance is pretty lonely sometimes.
poster:Daisym
thread:987548
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20110511/msgs/987649.html