Posted by JenStar on October 2, 2005, at 22:19:19 [reposted on October 5, 2005, at 21:44:46 | original URL]
In reply to Re: Deneb's OK now?, posted by Deneb on October 2, 2005, at 19:04:12
Deneb,
from what you write, it sounds like you believe that you are manipulative, and that you are trying to come up with an excuse to avoid finals/studying.If it's true that you're manipulating the situation, I think you need to consider why you are doing this, and how you got into this position?
I'd also consider -- what will happen next time you have tests/finals? What will happen when you get a job in the "real world" and face a deadline? What will happen when you are in a tough position to deliver some work projects?
If you don't learn now how to deal with stress appropriately, you won't be able to succeed in the real world. As you get older and more responsible, people will cease to be tolerant of these "episodes" and will stop giving you second chances when they happen.
You need to develop coping skills NOW, and time management skills NOW, so that you don't run yourself into a corner and worry about "saving face" by doing something drastic.
It seems that you feel that you'll either be labeled "stupid" b/c you failed a test, or "crazy" for OD'ing. And it seems that you're really afraid of doing poorly in school, so you'd rather suffer the stigma of a mental disorder.
I think the ideas you brought up before -- study partner, etc. are good ones. I'd also encourage you to read books on time management, or discuss ways to better manage your time (studying especially!) with your therapist or p-doc.
It sounds, and I know I could be wrong, that you're feeling hysterical because you didn't study as much as you KNOW you could have, and now you're trying to find a way out without having to take the tests. I don't think this is the right way!
I hope you are doing OK. If you fail tests, you can retake the clases. It's not ideal, but you can still pass and get a good job. It's not the end of the world. If I were an employer, I'd rather hire an employee that did poorly initially but fixed the issue by studying and eventually doing well, than someone who procrastinates and then develops huge issues and monumentous self-inflicted illnesses to deal with it. The former would, in my opinion, be more reliable.
I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, but in the real world that's the kind of decision people are going to make! And it seems as if you're still at the point where you're testing out various methods of coping. I'm just really, really encouraging you NOT to do the self-harm method, because in the long run that's not going to be good for you.
I hope you're well. take care.
JenStar
poster:JenStar
thread:563480
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/studs/20050910/msgs/563497.html