Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 407671

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pretty bad depression

Posted by crushedout on October 26, 2004, at 20:30:20


I've been pretty badly depressed for about the past week. I guess I was depressed before that also but I had a couple days where I felt kind of ok. I don't know. It's hard to figure out when I'm in the middle of it when it started and it's hard to imagine it will ever end.

For me, the worst thing about being depressed is feeling like I can't get out of bed. Like there's nothing worth getting up for. I've been sleeping as late as 2 p.m. some days and I know that only makes things worse but I can't help it.

I had therapy today and I was feeling pretty awful. So bad I even started crying when I didn't think I could cry. But I also couldn't explain to her what was wrong -- I would just start crying and I would feel paralyzed. She seemed really annoyed with me, which of course made me feel worse. And she told me she was frustrated and all I wanted was for her to become hopeless with me but she wasn't going to do that because she didn't want to feel hopeless. She said she didn't like feeling depressed anymore than I did.

I wanted to say, "Well, at least you could empathize. You don't have to agree that it's hopeless but you could feel this hopelessness with me and then I wouldn't feel so alone and then we could find our way out together." But I didn't say that. I just sat there in disbelief and got more hopeless.

I don't know if she's doing a good job. She just gets annoyed at me because I make her feel like a failure. I should be better already and she must be tired of me. (I even hinted at the topic of suicide and she doesn't take that seriously. I don't think she cares at all. It's pretty awful.)_

I'm sorry to be such a downer, thsi is just where I am, and it sucks.

 

Re: pretty bad depression » crushedout

Posted by gardenergirl on October 26, 2004, at 22:17:11

In reply to pretty bad depression, posted by crushedout on October 26, 2004, at 20:30:20

Crushed,
I'm sorry to hear that you have been feeling so down. I can definitely relate to the wanting to sleep the day away. I can easily sleep that late, too, when I am depressed. In fact, sleeping more rather than insomnia is one of the signs of atypical depression. I'm not sure if yo are familiar with that versus major depression. Perhaps you are, but if not, the other criteria (you need 3 out of the four) are: eating more rather than losing your appetite like in reg. depression, rejection sensitivity (thinking that most people and /or events are a rejection of you, or worrying that you will be rejected...for me this leads to avoidance, big time!), and finally, mood reactivity, meaning that you are not always down, but can feel up in certain situations or around certain people. Just a thought, cause regular treatment for depression, at least as far as meds go, is less effective for atypical depression. I take Nardil, an MAOI, which has been much better than SSRI's.

Okay, enough of me going on and on about one line you posted about sleep.

I noticed a couple of other things, too, that worried me.

>She seemed really annoyed with me, which of course made me feel worse. And she told me she was frustrated and all I wanted was for her to become hopeless with me but she wasn't going to do that because she didn't want to feel hopeless. She said she didn't like feeling depressed anymore than I did.

What did she say or do to make it seem like she was annoyed with you? Because if she genuinely was annoyed with you for being depressed, I'd, um, like to give her a good shake. Regarding her feeling hopeless, if I am understanding that right, you wanted her to join you in this feeling? I'm not sure about why you wanted this, and mostly I'm just curious.

But I'm guessing what you wanted was some empathy and to feel not alone in this. And instead, you felt bad about what you were feeling?
>
> I don't know if she's doing a good job. She just gets annoyed at me because I make her feel like a failure. I should be better already and she must be tired of me. (I even hinted at the topic of suicide and she doesn't take that seriously. I don't think she cares at all. It's pretty awful.)_

There's two things here that concern me. One is the idea that you make her feel anything, let alone like a failure. Her feelings and reactions are her own. They should not be tied to your actions or inactions. Especially whether she is a success or failure. Patients cannot fail therapy, but therapists can fail patients. Or sometimes therapy fails for no real reason.

And not taking suicidal thoughts seriously? Hmmm, is this how she normally responds to this? I'm concerned, if you are feeling so bad that these thoughts are creeping in. Do you have someone you can turn to if it gets so bad you feel unsafe? I hope so. Please keep posting, too.
>
> I'm sorry to be such a downer, thsi is just where I am, and it sucks.

You are not a downer. You are feeling down. And I'm sure it does suck. I'm sorry you are in that hole. I wish there was something I could do to help pull you out. You're not alone, though. There are others who understand that feeling and are reaching out to you.

(((((((((crushed))))))))))

gg

 

Re: pretty bad depression » gardenergirl

Posted by crushedout on October 26, 2004, at 23:02:32

In reply to Re: pretty bad depression » crushedout, posted by gardenergirl on October 26, 2004, at 22:17:11

Thanks so much for you post, gg.

That stuff about atypical depression is interesting, and I didn't know anything about it. I'm on Lexapro (very low dose), but my mom's on an MAOI, and this depression, I *am* eating more, and feeling up occasionally, depending on stuff that happens to me during the day. I guess I have that rejection stuff, too -- I'm not sure. I'd be interested in learning more about it.

>> What did she say or do to make it seem like she was annoyed with you? Because if she genuinely was annoyed with you for being depressed, I'd, um, like to give her a good shake. Regarding her feeling hopeless, if I am understanding that right, you wanted her to join you in this feeling? I'm not sure about why you wanted this, and mostly I'm just curious.

I sensed her annoyance. I was mostly just sitting there and crying and not talking much (despite the fact that she was asking me questions), and she looked annoyed. So I asked her if she was. And she didn't deny it. Instead, she gave me some speech about how depression worked and then said something about how I was shutting her out and that she was frustrated, yes. I told her I was shocked that she felt that way since I was doing the best that I could but I felt paralyzed and ashamed.

She was the one who said that the only thing that would satisfy me was if she wallowed in my hopelessness with me, but I'm not sure where she got that. I don't think it was true. I did want her to be present with me in my hopelessness, but I didn't think her being hopeless as well would really help. At least I wasn't aware of wanting that.


>> But I'm guessing what you wanted was some empathy and to feel not alone in this. And instead, you felt bad about what you were feeling?

Yeah. Basically.


>> There's two things here that concern me. One is the idea that you make her feel anything, let alone like a failure. Her feelings and reactions are her own. They should not be tied to your actions or inactions. Especially whether she is a success or failure. Patients cannot fail therapy, but therapists can fail patients. Or sometimes therapy fails for no real reason.

Well, she didn't say that I made her feel like a failure (this time, anyway). That was my own inference. But if my intuition is right, then, yes, I think you're right that that's a problem.


>> And not taking suicidal thoughts seriously? Hmmm, is this how she normally responds to this?

Well, I've only rarely mentioned suicidal thoughts but she's never done what, say, Dinah and others' Ts have done (asking if I had a plan and stuff). Maybe it was because she doesn't think I would ever seriously do it (which is true). She has said stuff like, "What could possibly be so bad that being DEAD seems better than tolerating it?" Which I found sort of dismissive and trivializing, although I got her point also.


>> I'm concerned, if you are feeling so bad that these thoughts are creeping in. Do you have someone you can turn to if it gets so bad you feel unsafe? I hope so. Please keep posting, too.

Yes, I do. And I will try to keep posting. Please don't worry about me. I'm philosophically opposed to suicide for emotional problems.

>> You are not a downer. You are feeling down. And I'm sure it does suck. I'm sorry you are in that hole. I wish there was something I could do to help pull you out. You're not alone, though. There are others who understand that feeling and are reaching out to you.

This really helps. Thank you.

 

Re: pretty bad depression

Posted by Rigby on October 27, 2004, at 1:19:21

In reply to pretty bad depression, posted by crushedout on October 26, 2004, at 20:30:20

Hey Crushed,

Really sorry to hear this. :{

Can you think of why you are depressed? Did the relationship you were in end? It would make sense, if it did end, that you would be sad.

I guess I'm wondering if your depression is situational vs. "biochemical" if that makes any sense?

Your therapist. Well, what can we say? I'm SO *over* that woman! Maybe she thinks the Dr. Feel, tough love approach is the way to go but it just sounds like she's frustrated and letting you know that. Real helpful. NOT. If you want, I'll fire her for you. I'm on a roll. ;)

Anyway, thinking of you. Keep writing.

> I've been pretty badly depressed for about the past week. I guess I was depressed before that also but I had a couple days where I felt kind of ok. I don't know. It's hard to figure out when I'm in the middle of it when it started and it's hard to imagine it will ever end.
>
> For me, the worst thing about being depressed is feeling like I can't get out of bed. Like there's nothing worth getting up for. I've been sleeping as late as 2 p.m. some days and I know that only makes things worse but I can't help it.
>
> I had therapy today and I was feeling pretty awful. So bad I even started crying when I didn't think I could cry. But I also couldn't explain to her what was wrong -- I would just start crying and I would feel paralyzed. She seemed really annoyed with me, which of course made me feel worse. And she told me she was frustrated and all I wanted was for her to become hopeless with me but she wasn't going to do that because she didn't want to feel hopeless. She said she didn't like feeling depressed anymore than I did.
>
> I wanted to say, "Well, at least you could empathize. You don't have to agree that it's hopeless but you could feel this hopelessness with me and then I wouldn't feel so alone and then we could find our way out together." But I didn't say that. I just sat there in disbelief and got more hopeless.
>
> I don't know if she's doing a good job. She just gets annoyed at me because I make her feel like a failure. I should be better already and she must be tired of me. (I even hinted at the topic of suicide and she doesn't take that seriously. I don't think she cares at all. It's pretty awful.)_
>
> I'm sorry to be such a downer, thsi is just where I am, and it sucks.

 

Re: pretty bad depression » Rigby

Posted by crushedout on October 27, 2004, at 22:38:04

In reply to Re: pretty bad depression, posted by Rigby on October 27, 2004, at 1:19:21

Thanks, Rigby.

Well, I have plenty of "reasons" to be depressed: yes, I am breaking up with my boyfriend (although I think it's for the best), my cat is very sick (he's been in the process of dying for a long time, but I feel we could be at the end, and it's very, very sad), my parents are leaving the country for six months in the morning, and I'm generally in a state of limbo. But none of those things feels like it's causing my depression, although each might be contributing to it. It feels kind of biochemical. (I went on the pill a month and a half ago and my T thinks that could be the cause -- I just don't know. I'm furious if it is.)

I don't know what to do. I'm tempted to fire my T tomorrow (you've inspired me) but can I really lose my boyfriend, cat, and therapist all in one week (not to mention the parents leaving the country)? What would I have left? I'm terribly frightened of where I'm going to end up. This cat thing is going to be so hard.

 

Re: pretty bad depression » crushedout

Posted by Dinah on October 27, 2004, at 22:43:00

In reply to Re: pretty bad depression » Rigby, posted by crushedout on October 27, 2004, at 22:38:04

I'm sorry, Crushed. I recently went through that with Harry. And it was a major one of a number of stressors that sent me spiralling. I quickly went back on the antidepressant that was relatively effective for intense depression a while back, and it worked almost too quickly for me to believe it's the medicine that's working at all. Although I do remember that it worked for overstimulation (which is what causes me to feel suicidal) way faster than it's antidepressant function is supposed to work.

Which is a long way of saying that there might be biochemical and situational factors working in concert. And you might want to look into a medication adjustment.

Give your cat an extra hug for me.

 

Re: pretty bad depression » crushedout

Posted by Rigby on October 28, 2004, at 1:04:06

In reply to Re: pretty bad depression » Rigby, posted by crushedout on October 27, 2004, at 22:38:04

Yeah, you do have a lot of reasons and I'm not buying the pill theory. Hormones can make you moody. But life, she'll do a number alright. In either case, if you are breaking up with the boyfriend, you may be able to quickly eliminate the pill factor.

Big, major hugs to you and your beloved kitty. How hard. How incredibly hard. I had a cat that was dying for about nine months and finally we laid him to rest on June 22nd. He went in an instant. Not a day goes by that I don't think about him. I still cry for him, wanting his weight in my arms. He was so special to me and left an indelible paw print on my heart. So I can empathize hugely. No good advise except that four months later I'm much better then I was.

Your relationship ending is tough too. I began my first intensely passionate relationship with a man the day after we put my kitty down. I think they were and are related. Usually this stuff is related in strange ways.

Regarding T-Woman. Be open to seeing how you feel. If firing feels right, go for it. If not, stick with her. Listen to and trust your instincts. If you want me to fire her, just email me with her phone number and I'd be more than happy to give that whack-job the boot. ;)

Take care, keep writing. Hugs to the kitty.

> Well, I have plenty of "reasons" to be depressed: yes, I am breaking up with my boyfriend (although I think it's for the best), my cat is very sick (he's been in the process of dying for a long time, but I feel we could be at the end, and it's very, very sad), my parents are leaving the country for six months in the morning, and I'm generally in a state of limbo. But none of those things feels like it's causing my depression, although each might be contributing to it. It feels kind of biochemical. (I went on the pill a month and a half ago and my T thinks that could be the cause -- I just don't know. I'm furious if it is.)
>
> I don't know what to do. I'm tempted to fire my T tomorrow (you've inspired me) but can I really lose my boyfriend, cat, and therapist all in one week (not to mention the parents leaving the country)? What would I have left? I'm terribly frightened of where I'm going to end up. This cat thing is going to be so hard.

 

Re: pretty bad depression... Start lookin 4 new T » crushedout

Posted by 64bowtie on October 28, 2004, at 4:07:36

In reply to pretty bad depression, posted by crushedout on October 26, 2004, at 20:30:20

C-O,

> And she told me she was frustrated and all I wanted was for her to become hopeless with me but she wasn't going to do that because she didn't want to feel hopeless. She said she didn't like feeling depressed anymore than I did.
>

<<< I am so sad for/with you... I hope I don't get a pbc but, that sounds kinda dopey for your therapist to stand off to one side and say that to you while you're having an event right in front of her... Saying that you're trying to make her feel hopeles... I'm, admittedly, not much into one-on-one therapy, since I know that the group wouldn't let the host/leader/"T" get away with that kind of dismissiveness... We'd all "call her on it" for you... I would feel terribly abandoned by the therapist that pulled that crap on me... She would be my EX-THERAPIST in a New York minute!

Crushedout, we will never abandon you, no matter what!

Rod

 

Re: pretty bad depression and the *pill* » crushedout

Posted by Annierose on October 28, 2004, at 5:13:22

In reply to Re: pretty bad depression » Rigby, posted by crushedout on October 27, 2004, at 22:38:04

Yes, the pill can and does cause depression.
This happened to me a few years ago. I started noticing that each day felt heavier and heavier.
I called my doctor and sure enough, got me off and the dark cloud lifted within 48 hours. Call your doctor. It probably is contributing to how you are feeling.

 

Re: pretty bad depression » Dinah

Posted by crushedout on October 28, 2004, at 10:56:17

In reply to Re: pretty bad depression » crushedout, posted by Dinah on October 27, 2004, at 22:43:00

Thanks, Dinah. I knew you'd gone through a similar experience recently with Harry so I thought you'd understand. I think a medication adjustment is a good idea. I just called a psychopharmacologist my T referred me to (should I not trust her referrals even? oh g*d).

I might have more questions for you about how you dealt with Harry, if you think you can handle talking about it. Maybe we should move that conversation to the grief board (you know how Dr. b can be about this stuff). I've never gone to that board.

 

Re: pretty bad depression... Start lookin 4 new T » 64bowtie

Posted by crushedout on October 28, 2004, at 10:58:24

In reply to Re: pretty bad depression... Start lookin 4 new T » crushedout, posted by 64bowtie on October 28, 2004, at 4:07:36


Thanks, Rod. I think you make a good point. It was kind of dopey. It helps that you're all there for me.

 

Re: pretty bad depression and the *pill* » Annierose

Posted by crushedout on October 28, 2004, at 11:01:39

In reply to Re: pretty bad depression and the *pill* » crushedout, posted by Annierose on October 28, 2004, at 5:13:22

Yes, "heavier and heavier"! that's really accurate. man, if it's the pill, i'm so p*ssed. I was hesitant to go on it because i didn't want to risk something like this derailing me. i felt like my boyfriend pressured me into it (but i'm a blamer -- it was my own decision). so i want to kill him. i guess i will call my doctor, or hopefully see this psychopharm soon.

can i just stop taking it today? why do i have to wait to talk to a doctor? oh no, now we have to get redirected to meds?

 

i posted on the grief board about it » Dinah

Posted by crushedout on October 28, 2004, at 11:08:59

In reply to Re: pretty bad depression » crushedout, posted by Dinah on October 27, 2004, at 22:43:00


if you have any advice for me, i'd really appreciate it. Thanks, Dinah.

 

my session today and other follow-ups

Posted by crushedout on October 28, 2004, at 14:48:06

In reply to i posted on the grief board about it » Dinah, posted by crushedout on October 28, 2004, at 11:08:59


Well, I had therapy today. She asked me how my mood was -- I said it hadn't changed. I said I didn't really understand what happened last session, why she thought that I was trying to make her feel hopeless. She said she didn't say that. Then she changed the subject back to what I'm going to do about my depression. So we talked about what I'm doing (I called that psychopharm guy -- we have an appointment for tomorrow, but I'm so tempted to cancel it right now, it's driving me nuts).

Then I said why'd she change the subject -- I wanted to talk about last session. So we talked about it. I told her I felt like she used to empathize with me but now she's just frustrated and annoyed and that wasn't helpful to me. She said it maybe didn't feel helpful but she thinks it's what I need. I'm not working hard enough and I need someone to get impatient with me. I was slightly incredulous. I told her I was doing the best I could. She said "I know it feels like you're doing the best you can." But she thinks I can do better, or something like that.

Anyway, I told her she'd abandoned me. She said I felt abandoned. I said I didn't just feel abandoned -- it was real. She said my name (she never does that), that she's right here, she hasn't really abandoned me. I said one could be physically present and still have abandoned someone. She swore she hadn't abandoned me. I said I appreciated that (but I was still very skeptical).

I'm just so confused. I was very close to ending it with her today, and I still am. I even called another therapist I got a referral for from my [ex-?]boyfriend , who's a T himself. This other T seeemed really warm. I liked her immediately. I guess that's good. She's going to call me back tonight at 8:30. Maybe that will give me some clarity.

I don't know whether to trust my current T or not. She said I had a right to think she was doing bad therapy, but she didn't think so. I don't know. I'm not presenting this very clearly. I'm all befuddled. Sorry.

 

Re: I'll respond there

Posted by Dinah on October 29, 2004, at 3:23:47

In reply to i posted on the grief board about it » Dinah, posted by crushedout on October 28, 2004, at 11:08:59

As soon as I hopefully meet my impossible to meet deadline. I've only got hours left and I'm a wreck.

There actually have been a few things that have helped me.

 

Re: I'll respond there » Dinah

Posted by crushedout on October 29, 2004, at 10:12:00

In reply to Re: I'll respond there, posted by Dinah on October 29, 2004, at 3:23:47


thanks, dinah. good luck with your project. you can post whenever you have the energy. i'll probably be dealing with this for awhile.

 

Re: my session today and other follow-ups » crushedout

Posted by Rigby on October 29, 2004, at 13:40:09

In reply to my session today and other follow-ups, posted by crushedout on October 28, 2004, at 14:48:06

Hey Crushed,

It sounds like a rough session. The abandonment stuff could be projection *or* it could be your vibe that this therapist doesn't really feel like she's "with" you. My experience with an abandonment issue and therapy, when I worked through it (took maybe six months) was that I reaped some tremendous benefits. So it could mean you are close to working through something painful. Or, maddenlingly,it could mean that you need her support and she is pulling away unnecessarily.

How did your call with the other therapist go? And how is your kitty?

Rigby

> Well, I had therapy today. She asked me how my mood was -- I said it hadn't changed. I said I didn't really understand what happened last session, why she thought that I was trying to make her feel hopeless. She said she didn't say that. Then she changed the subject back to what I'm going to do about my depression. So we talked about what I'm doing (I called that psychopharm guy -- we have an appointment for tomorrow, but I'm so tempted to cancel it right now, it's driving me nuts).
>
> Then I said why'd she change the subject -- I wanted to talk about last session. So we talked about it. I told her I felt like she used to empathize with me but now she's just frustrated and annoyed and that wasn't helpful to me. She said it maybe didn't feel helpful but she thinks it's what I need. I'm not working hard enough and I need someone to get impatient with me. I was slightly incredulous. I told her I was doing the best I could. She said "I know it feels like you're doing the best you can." But she thinks I can do better, or something like that.
>
> Anyway, I told her she'd abandoned me. She said I felt abandoned. I said I didn't just feel abandoned -- it was real. She said my name (she never does that), that she's right here, she hasn't really abandoned me. I said one could be physically present and still have abandoned someone. She swore she hadn't abandoned me. I said I appreciated that (but I was still very skeptical).
>
> I'm just so confused. I was very close to ending it with her today, and I still am. I even called another therapist I got a referral for from my [ex-?]boyfriend , who's a T himself. This other T seeemed really warm. I liked her immediately. I guess that's good. She's going to call me back tonight at 8:30. Maybe that will give me some clarity.
>
> I don't know whether to trust my current T or not. She said I had a right to think she was doing bad therapy, but she didn't think so. I don't know. I'm not presenting this very clearly. I'm all befuddled. Sorry.

 

Re: my session today and other follow-ups » Rigby

Posted by crushedout on October 29, 2004, at 14:40:26

In reply to Re: my session today and other follow-ups » crushedout, posted by Rigby on October 29, 2004, at 13:40:09


yeah, i know, it's confusing.

i put the cat to sleep today, a couple hours ago. i'm a total and complete wreck. i honestly don't know how i'm going to survive this. i wish the vet could have done me with him. i could have just lain beside him on the table and passed peacefully from this miserable world. but i'm still here, unfortunately.

the call with the other t went ok. i'm not overly impressed. she's inconveniently located and very expensive. i guess i could just see her as a consultant, 2 or 3 times, and then find someone else if necessary.

i'm really at a loss for what to do. it's going to be hard to lose my t on top of this loss of the cat.

thanks for caring. i need all i can get.

 

Sorry about your kitty

Posted by Joslynn on October 29, 2004, at 15:50:57

In reply to Re: my session today and other follow-ups » Rigby, posted by crushedout on October 29, 2004, at 14:40:26

I'm sorry about your cat. Pets are so special.

 

Re: my session today and other follow-ups » crushedout

Posted by annierose on October 29, 2004, at 16:03:43

In reply to Re: my session today and other follow-ups » Rigby, posted by crushedout on October 29, 2004, at 14:40:26

Sorry about the loss of your cat. It truly is a difficult period in your life, but I'm glad you are still around. Pets give us so much love, and are kind, even when we feel yucky. Thinking about you - Annie

 

((((crushed)))) I'm so sorry about your cat. (nm)

Posted by gardenergirl on October 30, 2004, at 9:48:29

In reply to Re: my session today and other follow-ups » crushedout, posted by annierose on October 29, 2004, at 16:03:43

 

Re: my session today and other follow-ups » crushedout

Posted by Rigby on October 30, 2004, at 11:37:43

In reply to Re: my session today and other follow-ups » Rigby, posted by crushedout on October 29, 2004, at 14:40:26

Hi Crushed,

Really, really sorry to hear about your kitty. It's so sad. It's weird because we enter into this "agreement" in a sense; we know that chances are, we'll have to say goodbye to our pets given their shorter lifespans but we still love them and then, in the end, have to see them go. It's just incredibly difficult when this time comes.

Know that you did the right thing and that your kitty is out of his suffering. If he was suffering from kidney failure as mine was, it's no picnic.

Thinking of {{you.}}

> i put the cat to sleep today, a couple hours ago. i'm a total and complete wreck. i honestly don't know how i'm going to survive this. i wish the vet could have done me with him. i could have just lain beside him on the table and passed peacefully from this miserable world. but i'm still here, unfortunately.
>
> the call with the other t went ok. i'm not overly impressed. she's inconveniently located and very expensive. i guess i could just see her as a consultant, 2 or 3 times, and then find someone else if necessary.
>
> i'm really at a loss for what to do. it's going to be hard to lose my t on top of this loss of the cat.
>
> thanks for caring. i need all i can get.

 

Re: my session today and other follow-ups

Posted by shrinking violet on October 30, 2004, at 13:27:06

In reply to Re: my session today and other follow-ups » crushedout, posted by Rigby on October 30, 2004, at 11:37:43

((((((((Crushed))))))))

I'm SO sorry to hear about your kitty. My cat is getting older, and is beginning to have some problems (arthritis, thyroid) and it saddens me. It's especially tough when our pets are our only friends in the world (well, speaking for myself).

You're going through a hard time...problems with a T on top of that can be SO hard. I know, I'm in a similar situation with mine (it's so odd....if you take out the sexual aspect of your situation with your T, then your situation and mine are very similar). I hope your T can provide you with what you need.

Take care. And keep posting if it helps.

SV

 

Re: my session today and other follow-ups » shrinking violet

Posted by crushedout on October 30, 2004, at 14:19:48

In reply to Re: my session today and other follow-ups, posted by shrinking violet on October 30, 2004, at 13:27:06


thanks, sv (and everyone else) for your sympathy.

my cat sort of *was* my only friend in the world. he was definitely often the only one i had to come home to, and i never (for the last 11 years) had to come home to an empty house. he was always excited to see me (up till the last few days, that is, when he was too sick to get up). it's going to be so hard getting used to an empty house. and i don't want to run out and get another cat so i'm going to have to get used to it, at least for awhile.

i actually haven't been home alone yet -- i'm staying at my ex-boyfriend's house. it's just too hard. but the grief is subsiding a bit. (sorry, dr. b., i tried to move this to grief but my friends are on this board and this is what happens.) i at least know i did the right thing -- that really helps.

now, the hard part is figuring out how to fire my t, which i think i really have needed to do for a long time, and i need to do now. she's a real jerk, i swear. i guess i'll start a new thread soon about how best to do this. it's really going to be hard. i hope i can go through with it for real this time.


> ((((((((Crushed))))))))
>
> I'm SO sorry to hear about your kitty. My cat is getting older, and is beginning to have some problems (arthritis, thyroid) and it saddens me. It's especially tough when our pets are our only friends in the world (well, speaking for myself).
>
> You're going through a hard time...problems with a T on top of that can be SO hard. I know, I'm in a similar situation with mine (it's so odd....if you take out the sexual aspect of your situation with your T, then your situation and mine are very similar). I hope your T can provide you with what you need.
>
> Take care. And keep posting if it helps.
>
> SV


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