Posted by WittyOne on July 17, 2006, at 22:45:07
In reply to Re: Therapy ending- I'm FEELING/WANTING my Therapi » WittyOne, posted by Jost on July 17, 2006, at 21:18:13
> Hi, WittyOne.
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> Have you ever talked to your T about your feelings? as part of the therapy, I mean? or, because you thought he was straight, did you decide not to make that part of the work.
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> You're in a tough tough position-- Having a T leave (however inadvertantly or through no fault of his own) is extremely difficult, if it's been a deep, important relationship.
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> But as you said, it's not ethical for him to have a relationship after having seen you. So this would be a huge constraint for him. Plus he may have a relationship, and if you were friends, esp. only seeing one another once in a while, you could be putting so much emotion into someone who isn't available.
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> I guess your only option is to explore the issue, perhaps somewhat indirectly, either in your session, or possibly through a letter. However you feel comfortable.
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> Or maybe talking with your new T about it, if you feel you do that-- and if you connect well with him.
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> I'm sorry that it's so hard; but maybe you're idealizing your T, because he has helped you so much. You could be getting the best of him-- even if that sounds contradictory.
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> Jost
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How touched I AM/WAS to get your response. THIS SITE is New for me.. and I am trying to reach out more in my life... IT felt SO GOOD to 'experience' again the value & beauty of SUPPORT (and for someone who is challenged with SOCIAL PHOBIA last few yrs; despite having great outgoing personality..its hard to show up anywhere or at meetings or groups)!I hear Everything you say.. I have left a couple 'truthful' voice mails with T (and Yes, we have on & off sort of visited this topic yet it was always under the premise that he was Straight...and I was attracted!).. I WILL Chat with Him (T) & New therapist as well... My Question is, altho being 45 and aware of ethics/yrs in therapy.. yet I am HUMAN-- and I SO WANT THE FEELING OF SOMEONE WHO KNOWS WE & WANTS ME- COURTS ME ETC (Gay Man).. as I am truly more 'authentic' then I have ever been... Is it not possible or realistic at all.... for T & I to have connection after short time out & then date (IF.. thats IF HE is even interested? OR.. IS THIS BASICALLY A DONE DEAL? Powerful therapy & Therapist/Strong Transferance & now ITS OVER, FOREVER ? Hmmmm ? (I feel stupid by 'feeling' all this yet I appreciate THIS WEBSITE AND THE RESPONSE I HAVE REC'D SO FAR! thanks!)
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poster:WittyOne
thread:667715
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/newbs/20060108/msgs/667906.html