Posted by Miller on December 15, 2002, at 18:45:44
In reply to Re: How can you be so sure?, posted by Phil on December 15, 2002, at 13:33:30
Phil,
You said nothing in your post that would get you in trouble. I am/was angry at my shrink. But not for the reason you seem to think. My anger came from the fact that I did have the courage to call him (A big step for me) and be HONEST with him regarding the pain I was feeling. If he is the one who called the police, I wanted a heads-up on it. Or at least for him to have been available for me when the police were here.
I trusted him. I don't want to have to edit my feelings in fear of not being able to trust him with the important issues.
As far as suicide goes, we all have our own opinion. I do feel like it is my choice. I also believe that if I decide to do it, there is no blame involved with other people. I have created my life and who I am.
Phil, I am glad that you were able to see your mom as a strong person who you admired. Maybe prior to you viewing her that way, you blamed her for your bad feelings.
My bad feelings are nobody's fault but my own. "What goes around, comes around" applies to me. I am living my punishment for the bad things I have done and the bad things I will probably do in the future. I know that. I blame nobody for past or future decisions. Being able or not able to place blame doesn't stop my hurt.
I hope you can understand what I am saying. I am angry for the lack of honesty from my shrink if he was the one to call the police. I felt betrayed. When he and I got off the phone, I felt much better. I wasn't in danger. He never said anything that made me believe he felt any different. If his job is to intervene when he feels I will hurt myself or others, I don't have a problem with that. I have a problem with him not being honest or forthcoming if he expects me to do the same with him.
poster:Miller
thread:1790
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20021109/msgs/1841.html