Posted by Medusa on November 7, 2003, at 2:40:16
In reply to Oh man., posted by kara lynne on November 6, 2003, at 23:03:55
Kara!
What I'm going to say here will probably sound unfriendly. I'm trying to be supportive, but I can't do that in a coddling way.
> She professes to be a friendThis is a problem. A *big* problem. A therapist isn't your friend. It's really either / or, and someone who's been your therapist even ONCE can't be your friend.
It sounds like 10 years was too long to go without that boundary getting blurred. Or maybe she didn't have ethical boundaries in place in the first place.
>and someone I can count on.
>You *should* be able to count on your therapist, a trained professional with a conscience. The behavior you describe isn't professional. Which can happen when friendship is attempted.
If she's not taking you seriously in therapy, how could she take you seriously as a friend and business connection?
I don't buy the upcoming lunch as "evidence" for her.
> How do you not take such an incident personally?
>You *DON'T*. This was personal. She violated your boundaries, she disrespected you. She treated you as "less-than", she blamed you for HER mistake.
>
> I don't know what to think.How about if you discontinue the therapist-patient relationship. I highly, highly recommend a short-term therapy, such as a systems approach. It's completely different to talk therapy. You can always go back to talk therapy if you want to. (Hopefully with a caring professional.)
You might be obligated to continue the work relationship (I don't know the history with this ... what do you do for her?) until you can get other work. This woman is NOT giving you the respect you deserve, and unfortunately, most of the world will disrespect you as far as you allow. A good therapist should be aware of this dynamic and not fall into it ... but yours screwed up. So she's gotta go. Make space for respect in your life, Kara - I know you feel rotten, but you really can be treated very well. You just have to make some very unpleasant changes in order for this to happen.
poster:Medusa
thread:277342
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031030/msgs/277382.html