Posted by gardenergirl on February 3, 2004, at 20:03:41
In reply to Re: So what's this mean? » gardenergirl, posted by Dinah on February 3, 2004, at 16:51:38
Dinah,
So maybe it takes longer for some than for others. I just left the home of a client today (she has agoraphobia) and was thinking about why she is doing so much better. I mean, I haven't seen her in person since November. We have had a couple of phone sessions in between, but I ask my ego, "how could she be doing better when she is seeing me less?"I am thinking, and mind you this is just a hypothesis, that she had a corrective emotional experience with me. She has tremendous abandonment issues (can't get into the reasons due to privacy in case she posts here too). I gradually tapered our sessions together as I saw that she was gaining the skills she needed to do the work on her own. We made the decision together that I did not need to come out as often. I have to admit, I was a little hurt (counter-transference) when I did not hear from her as much. I mean, she needs me, right? She does have strong dependent tendencies. But I think by allowing her to form an attachment to me, and then gradually backing off while monitoring her readiness for this, maybe she learned that she is not abandoned. After all, I am still there for her, she just does not need me as much. So it seems that it was a planned termination.
Or it could be that I stunk in working with her and she is better the less she sees me...I don't know. But she is doing SO much better and is SO much more confident. Whatever the reason, I am so pleased for her.
Perhaps this is also on the horizon for everyone, but the timing of it is purely individual. I have hope for all in therapy, especially all those who work hard in it.
Not that there is anything wrong with continuing to use a resource which has been valuable for you. Why wouldn't you? But if you ever feel that you are doing really fine, you may surprise yourself and back off some. And if not, as long as you continue on your path to growth (ack! channeling Rod!) then you are fine.
I hope this makes some sense and is not just aimless, self-satisfying rambling.
Take care,
gg
poster:gardenergirl
thread:308879
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040131/msgs/309063.html