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Re: Daisy, how are you today? » fallsfall

Posted by daisym on June 19, 2005, at 0:37:29

In reply to Re: Daisy, how are you today? » Daisym, posted by fallsfall on June 18, 2005, at 16:38:27

Being alone still sounds like the best idea but I realize that it isn't a good one. I'll try to post tomorrow if I can.

Things with hubby are complicated. I think he is having a bad day and I think he is worried about me. I wish I could take back what I've told him because I hate being so much trouble. I don't think in 22 years I've ever needed him as much as I have the past few months. It is hard to be faced with the fact that he might not be able to meet this need.

I talked with my therapist about this today. He agrees that this is a very scary place for me to be because I've set things up to always be the caretaker. It is hard on those around me to suddenly have things switched on them. He talked a lot about trust and being able to tolerate the insecurity of asking for support. He worries about what will happen if once again it is proven that I should only rely on myself.

The other thing that I'm faced with is this confusing swirl of wanting to avoid therapy and needing to spend 24/7 there. It feels so out of control. I'm looking forward to a time when things finally settle down.

They will, right?

 

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