Posted by Dory on September 1, 2007, at 22:18:20
In reply to Re: he called, posted by antigua3 on September 1, 2007, at 12:38:59
i managed to get through today mainly by being at work. i have had a flare up and so i had to deal with a lot of pain, it was all i could do to stay at work. So my mind was on trying to balance those two things. As painful as it was physically it kept me busy mentally.
i tried to write a letter to my T, to talk about and process how i have been feeling but i just stared at the screen and felt bad. i feel like i can't be needy or that i haven't made any progress, or not enough to make him happy. i feel just bad about all of it. i re-read some of what i had been writing before i spoke to him on the phone.. but i can't reconnect to it now. i just feel empty, bad and wrong. i wanted to be me with him and now i feel it's wrong to be.
tonight i drank myself into a stupor for a few hours and now that it's wearing off i am just plain tired and in pain. i am heading to bed.
poster:Dory
thread:779336
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070822/msgs/780285.html