Posted by Dory on August 31, 2007, at 9:49:08
In reply to Re: breach of self-ban - extreme distress **triggers** » Dory, posted by RealMe on August 28, 2007, at 21:28:19
> Oh Dory, this is all so sad, and I feel so badly for you. I would be a basket case if all this happened to me. The pigeon is sort of you it seems, and your therapist needs to understand you are injured and need care so you won't emotionally die. I hope you can explain to your therapist as you have here so that perhaps there will be some understanding.
>
> ((((Dory))))it's ok... it matters to me that you understood the metaphot. it makes me feel hopeful that my T might too.
i *am* a basket case (*wry smile). i fell apart. No rules, no idea what to count on, no predictability... and trust me, for this particular T it surprises me that he did this quite this way. He really is a good T and i think he understood that it was not quite what he intended (*?). problem is i don't know that for sure either.
the "good" part is that it brought out something pretty powerful... the strength of my fear is more apparent to him and to me... it's more reflective of what really happens to me IRL when this is provoked. He can see it. Me knowing that makes me gag because it already feels painful so i can just imagine the road ahead.
the bad part.. well, that's obvious too.. i fell to the ground like a stone and did great damage to my spirit. i feel back into self-abuse and drinking heavily to self medicate. That was not the result he anticipated (or at least i am hoping).
thank you for caring enough to respond. It matters and i wanted you to know that.
poster:Dory
thread:779336
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070822/msgs/779932.html