Posted by onceupon on September 6, 2008, at 13:05:52
In reply to Re: Maternal transference (oh so long post), posted by JayMac on September 5, 2008, at 23:54:56
> Oh how I know the feeling....It can be sooooo overwhelming for me. I often imagine my T holding me. As I learn how to mother myself, it's comforting to know that she's there. She's constant. She cares. She's alive inside me.It's funny how overwhelming it can feel, isn't it? For me at least. The rational part of me thinks that imagining such a thing should be comforting, since I generally find my therapist to be a compassionate person. But the ache of what was missed sometimes overrides it all.
I'd be curious to hear more about the process of learning to mother yourself. This is something I think about a lot in theory, but I'm not quite sure how to put it into practice.
> Actually, it's quite the opposite, you *should* be feeling these feelings. They are natural, they are healthy. It's ok to feel.You're right that I need to talk about it. It's starting to feel like it will destroy me if I don't. Thanks for the reassurance about feelings - something I'm trying hard to accept.
> It's best that you work up the courage to tell her in therapy. From what you are saying, I feel it would be helpful for you to first write what you want to say to her *as if* you are actually speaking with her. It's something that I do, that I have found to be extremely helpful.
>
> Just write and write and write. Write as much as you want to say to her. Don't worry about what's thinking. HER thoughts should not get in the way of doing therapy with YOU. You are the client/patient. She is there to fulfill YOUR needs. I know it's a difficult concept to grasp, but let her fulfill your needs.I like the idea of writing as if I were talking to her. I think I get stuck in the rut of trying to figure everything out when I start writing, so I just get stuck.
> Hugs and blessings,
> JayThanks :)
>
poster:onceupon
thread:850326
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080906/msgs/850654.html