Posted by workinprogress on August 17, 2009, at 18:31:02
In reply to Re: I made it through vacation » TherapyGirl, posted by Dinah on August 17, 2009, at 11:34:45
Dinah,
Maybe the little bonk on the head- completely an accident of course- was a blessing in disguise, because you can now take care of the infection!
And, I think you did a great job with your therapist and it sounds like he really showed up too and said the right things. On the point of "protective barriers"- I can relate. I had my big girl boots on the entire time I was out of state (two months) and seeing my T was minimal and/or videochat (not the same). I was so proud for "holding her in my mind so well"- I've been quite clingy and attached and yearning ever since coming back.
That said.. I too struggle with the "all better". I'm trying not to see my yearning for connection as something to fix. Here's what my therapist said in an email:
I think that longing and yearning for a heart-filled connection is not something to "fix" per se, but something that will in time ease itself, as the yearning is met by your ability to internalize me more and more. When is that yearning met? Who's to say?!!
I also think that when you are at peace with yourself and filled with self- love, your yearning may be less intense, and finally, when you have a partner who really sees you and loves you as is, that also eases the yearning.
I don't think your yearning for me will always be as intense as it is right now. But I would agree that it is not something to "cure" or "fix". The yearning will dissipate when it's supposed to!
*****
I still struggle with wanting it "fixed" or to be "better". But I am trying to practice the, there's no right and wrong feeling, just feelings, information. And boy DOES IT EVER TAKE PRACTICE!!!
I hope the little guy recovers quickly from the infection and you continue to be able to "hold" your therapist in your mind (I know that feels "better".)
And a big raspberry to your dh ;)
WIP
poster:workinprogress
thread:912526
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090730/msgs/912657.html