Posted by Dinah on August 18, 2009, at 9:41:21
In reply to and maybe a silver lining... » Dinah, posted by workinprogress on August 17, 2009, at 18:31:02
What a wonderful, caring thing for your therapist to write! You are very fortunate.
I'm not sure the feelings will ever subside completely. They definitely are more manageable now than they used to be. And they are changing, just as the infatuation of first love changes to the excitement of young love then to the warm companionship of a lifetime of love. They change, they morph, they mature, and the become less painful. But I doubt they'll ever go away.
I do believe, likely because it's true, that it's safer to be all of myself, emotions and all, with him around. My husband likes my intellectual self far better than my emotional self. I feel like my emotional self will die, or at least go into deep hiding, without him. And the fact that that is exactly what happens when he goes away really strengthens that belief.
And of course my rational self thinks this is wonderful and is perfectly happy and believes I'm "all cured" since my emotional self is in hiding and not causing any trouble. :)
It may be a sensible way to live life, but I don't want to go back to that life again. In some ways it's very fulfilling, but in other ways it's very empty - and has all the drawbacks that originally drove me to therapy. But I can only say that when I'm my whole self.
poster:Dinah
thread:912526
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090730/msgs/912793.html